Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Decorum

I awoke with a word on my mind 

DECORUM 

Not one I use or think of often

Last night on a quick trip to Walmart with my 4 yr old grandson we watched as two children, likely brother and sister in “maybe” karate gear, played with 24 pack toilet paper bundles.
They were having a great time bumping into and butting each other with them center aisle while their mom watched  laughing sideline 

No one got hurt
The store was not super busy 

But was it wise?
Was it the proper place?
Does it teach something?
Is it just personal preference?

I struggle with these thoughts in this day and age
It seems “things have changed “

“You’re just being super sensitive. It’s no big deal. They’re only kids. “

Ezra looked at me with a questioning smile. 
I said “they look like they’re having fun!   He nodded .. I’m sure at 4 he would have joined them if invited 

I said” Ez  do you think this is the best place to play like that?  Where are we? Where do we play this way? Is it good?” 

I’ve sat in “nicer” restaurants, looking forward to a leisurely quiet dinner, when a family with young kids are placed beside me.  The rest of the story I’ll leave to your imagination. 
Dancing, hide and seek, a mixture of tired parents and pentup children in a place set aside for “dinner out”.

 Is it wrong? Are there better thought out choices?
 We’ve read stories of people voicing their thoughts that have led to all out brawls!  

What’s funny for one may not be for another. 

Decorum 
“behavior that is controlled, calm, and polite:
As young ladies we were expected to act/behave with proper decorum.”

All this to say... I was brought up on a dairy farm with all brothers, in a very small rural town, but my mom taught me decorum
There’s a place to dance
A place to be rough and tumble 
A place for families to eat out

BUT ITS NOT EVERY PLACE!


capeesh??

Sunday, February 24, 2019

To Coddle

What an interesting word!

"To treat in an indulgent or overprotective way"


I'm thinking as I watch and listen to society around me that there has been a whole lot of coddling going on!

There seem to be so many people today that are 
 easily offended
constantly having their feeling hurt
and or believing themselves entitled to unreasonable requests.


It begins early.

The baby that throws a temper tantrum because they are put down

the little one who screams because he wants the blue cup NOT THE GREEN ONE

the child who feels like she is being picked on

The one who has been overlooked by play mates

the whiner and the complainer


Are you walking on eggshells because you don't want to upset someone or tip the "apple cart"?
Are you constantly aware and concerned how someone is going to "feel" 
Are you afraid of confrontation 

YOU may be part of the Problem!

This is probably going to take a little bit of time and energy 
but IT CAN BE DONE!

If you think you might land on one side or the other of this problem 
call me and lets chat over tea

I have lots of creative ideas that will help you bring your young one back into order

YOU CAN DO IT!






Wednesday, May 3, 2017

The Benefits of First Things First



Parenting is hard.
Keeping a house presentable is hard.
Keeping fit and healthy is hard.
Getting enough sleep is hard.


Now that that is out of the way let's talk about a few disciplines that really can make a difference!

Looking out at my yard this morning I could sense a wave of "overwhelmed" headed my way.  SPRING...that change of season does it to me every single year!

I dusted off the lawn mower and mowed FIRST.  
AMAZING! 
All of a sudden it did not look so big!  I've done this so many times and it's proven to make a huge difference in the rest of the undertaking. 

Your bedroom may really need some help.  Do you make your bed every morning?  It's the same principle!  Make your bed nicely (3-5 mins) and your room does not look as bad.  It may even be enough to spur you on to keep going!  Pick all the laundry up. Get rid of the piles. Put the clothes, shoes away. etc.   Think Sanctuary

How about your kitchen?  Don't leave dishes in the sink! Make sure before you go to bed to have the sink empty and everything put away.  It makes a BIG difference in the morning!  When I am cooking dinner I often will have a sink of soapy hot water ready for the pots, pans and utensils that I am using to make the meal.  By the time I'm done the dishes have soaked and cleanup really fast!  Wiping counters, tables and keeping up with the floors after every meal makes the day seem better. Yes it's work but that's beside the point.  Life is work and Life is hard so why not try to give yourself a break!

We often are simply our own worst enemies.  
I watched a baby enjoy some of those little snack puffs on the floor..
before long the container beside her was tipped over with more spilling out.
Before long she was no longer interested.
Before long people were walking through them .
And before long a 10 second fix became a much bigger clean up.  
(man I notice everything !! lol) and it comes from not only years of doing it but also the fact that I DON'T WANT TO WORK HARDER THAN NECESSARY!

Be kind to yourself!  Stay on top of these things, and when unexpected company stops in you'll be secretly smiling to yourself!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Importance of a Schedule

Once again today I was struck with the benefits of having a schedule.

Wednesday and Saturday are shower days for mom.  Monday and Wednesday is a Big Breakfast day
Tues and Friday we go out to studies and lunch.  Thursday is the day to go to the dump, thrift store and bagel shop. Sunday church's etc

Now this certainly is flexible but I love just the "knowing".  

Now when the kids were home schedules changed often with seasons, sports, school, company, vacations etc. but the "bones" remained the same.

We sat together for dinner.  We had family night.  We went for Sunday icecream after church.  We went to the bagel shop before church.  We had "stay up night and silly supper", traditions around the holidays and birthdays that we looked forward to.  I changed sheets and cleaned on certain days

Schedules help us to stay moving and motivated.

Perhaps you say I would not even know where to start!   Email me at marnie.gileadsbalm@gmail.com and I will help talk it out.

I'm also available to speak to any moms you would like to gather on a formal or informal basis...even hosted here in my home.

Blessed!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Little Bitty Bling

Today in the bank I had an interesting talk with a young woman.
We were mentioning how the month was flying by and she commented that it was a heavy birthday month for her.  

Lots of shopping to do.  

As she listed some of her projects she said, "my cousin's 16th birthday is in a week and she wants a pair of diamond studs".........said so nonchalantly!!

After she finished I said ..."will you actually buy them for her??"  I gave her an idea of a place to go and asked if she had priced them....she responded that they were not too expensive ~ only 3-400 dollars....

WAIT                                WHAT  
                           
Did she just say what I thought she did???

I asked if she was going to buy them and she said that she had asked her husband and he responded that "if that is what she wants that's what we will get her"~~
 OK   
so maybe I was born into the wrong family...    or 
Maybe my 60 years makes me think differently....

 even this woman said  she worries that the girl may lose them....

so some thoughts here....

what will she want at 18?

If I were the parent who could not afford such a gift would I feel "less" because I had been shown up by a mere relative?

Should we allow our children to make a list of wants that way too often turn into a list of "expects" which only lead to disappointment?

Do we give attachments to our gifts???? YOU better not lose these~~

(I suggested giving her cubic zirconia  and telling her if she could show me them at 20 years old then I would give her the real thing!)

Will she want to show off?
Will she feel like she can really wear them?   

Parents....think this through.... Personally I think that children often receive too much.   We feel the pressure to make them happy and fulfill all their wishes.   That is not our job.  Our job is to love them and help them think and act correctly.

It would be an interesting round table discussion with the family don't you think?  


Blessings!

Let me know how you fare.




Wednesday, February 6, 2013

smile

KIDS IN CHURCH
 


KIDS IN CHURCH

3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson..
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan, you be Jesus !'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand..
'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked.
'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
'Did God throw him back down?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, February 4, 2013

Pornography

http://brandonandress.com/2013/02/01/3-things-i-want-my-son-to-know-about-porn/


3 THINGS I WANT MY SON TO KNOW ABOUT PORN…

I never thought I would ever write anything with the title- 3 Things I Want My Son to Know About Porn.
But, after being caught off guard and completely surprised nearly two years ago with my first son, the reality of him growing up in an era supersaturated in sex hit me like a ton of bricks.
Hardcore pornography is as accessible as a Google search.
Sexting is as easy as exchanging cell numbers.
Virtual sex with robots is a reality just around the corner.
And that is the world in which my son will learn to be a man.
And it makes me pause.
This is the world in which my son will begin to learn whether people have value or not.
This is the world in which my son will begin to learn whether women are beautifully created beings or objects to exploit.
This is the world in which my son will begin to learn whether relationships and commitment are valuable and worth prioritizing or if they are antiquated ideas that are not worth working for.
This is the world in which my son will begin to learn whether making God, or himself, the center of his life is more important.
After reading an article last year describing one mother’s account of how an addiction to Internet porn began to drastically change the character and personality of her 11-year old boy, I began to realize the important role I will need to play in my son’s life in how he views people, women, relationships, himself, and God.
The truth is that our sons will need godly wisdom, practical guidance, and constant prayers in order to navigate through this increasingly dangerous minefield. And they will need both men and women who will teach and demonstrate a better way that is fulfilling, abundant, and full of life.
I want to be a part of that important movement for the sake of our sons and daughters.
And this is my first contribution toward making that a reality. Although this is not what I will say verbatim to my son as he gets older, these are certainly the ideas that I plan to share with him at the right time.
Porn will make you think less of yourself and others
Porn will put you at the very center.
It will promise to give you fulfillment without requiring any sacrifice or effort on your part.
And it will sound like the best deal in the world.
But here is what you should know- It is a complete lie.
The truth is that being at the center of your own world, getting what you want out of situations or people, and thinking only about your own fleeting pleasure at the expense of others… is a place of tremendous emptiness and hollowness.
And that is the sad and unfortunate pathway of porn.
It makes you self-centered.
It gives you want you want, any time you want it, at the expense of other people and relationships.
And it makes people nothing more than objects who exist for you.
That kind of existence is completely opposite of fulfillment.
In every way that being God-centered makes you whole, reminds you that you are loved, fills you with life, and helps you see the beauty and value of other human beings… porn will fracture you, will strain or break your relationships, will make you feel hatred toward yourself and others, and will leave you empty and void.
Porn will create an ever-increasing hunger for more
Looking at porn may begin out of curiosity…and that may satisfy you for a while.
But once a small peek no longer thrills or excites you… you will hunger for more.
And this is how so many men become enslaved to porn.
And why so many men spend so many hours viewing it each week.
And why so many men spend so much money on it.
And why so many men can’t escape it, even when they get married.
It creates an ever-increasing appetite that must be fed. And unfortunately, for some men, the appetite becomes so great that not even their wives can fill it.
The truth about porn is that it will always leave you hungry and wanting more… because it is not real nourishment. And though it may appear to satisfy your appetite, it never will.
True nourishment that satisfies our every appetite comes from God alone. And it is God who then works through our committed relationships to give us fulfillment and joy and satisfaction as we have never experienced it before.
Porn creates unfair expectations for your future wife
Porn is not real life.
It is a manufactured idea of sex.
So when you view pornography, this manufactured idea of sex will become your own idea of how sexual intimacy is supposed to be with your wife.
And that is unfair.
Your wife will be compared to every woman in every video you have ever watched.
The sexual performance of your wife will be compared to every woman in every video you have ever watched.
The sexual expectations you have of your wife will be shaped by every woman in every video you have ever watched.
Plain and simple.
And I can’t think of very many things that are as objectifying and dehumanizing toward women, especially the one you love.
But that is what porn does.
It creates an unfair comparison and places unfair expectations on the woman to whom you will one day give an oath to faithfully love.
A much more beautiful relationship is one in which two people come together in marriage without expectations or comparisons.
Of course there are more than 3 things a dad, or a mom, could share with his or her son about porn. So what would you share with your son? What about your daughters?
I look forward to this important discussion.
peace…
brandon