Showing posts with label moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moms. Show all posts

Monday, August 22, 2011

just A mom



JUST A MOM?


A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 'S office,
Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder,
'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.

'I'm a Mom.'

'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,'
Said the recorder emphatically.


I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
In the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words..
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'
Motherhood!

What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.


Does this make grandmothers
'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations'
And great grandmothers
Executive Senior Research Associates?'
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts
Associate Research Assistants.



Please send this to another Mom

Sunday, June 5, 2011

MOTHER GUILT 10/07

OK I just feel like I need to address this before we go into any more areas of childrearing.
Guilt Guilt Guilt
Why do we go there so easily? Guilt is the root of much of the disfunctional mothering that has been passed down through the ages.

So lay down on the couch and "let's talk".

Guilt comes from outside and inside. It can be real or imaginary. It is a feeling and sometimes a fact! It has many faces.
Websters says: "Guilt: Tha act or state of having done a wrong or committed an offense Conduct that involves guilt, wrongdoing, crime sin."

I wish that we could "round table" this!

I have a memory of standing in front of my child and saying outloud..."and I will NOT feel guilty!!"

It's a choice to feel guilty or not. Have we done something wrong? If so we need to ask forgiveness or do the best we can with the situation.

What brings about feelings of guilt? I think it is our insecurity. If we are confident in our decision as to who what where and why We should be able to stand on it. We will be the ones to answer for what we do ...not anyone else.

What does guilt do to us?
1. It causes us to do and make decisions that are not good.

Moooooommmmm I want it !!!! You never..... You always.... I hate you.....
A. We give in....B. Im sorry Johnny but no Ive made up my mind and we will talk about it when we get home.

2. It can cause us stress and anguish.
I cant believe that you dont have a meal on the table!! What have you done all day? blah blah blah

another failure after a day of whiney kids and endless telephone calls and plugged toilets.

Im sorry Hon its been a day of all days...I havent had a minute ...the baby has been in a mood all day and your mom dropped in and talked for 2 hours about the problems of the world! Lets send out or there is cereal or maybe an egg sandwich..Would you mind giving me a hand.?

3. It drives us to do things that feed into habitual wrong actions.

ie : "Mom, Rick and I have decided to have thanksgiving at home with the kids this year. It is just too much to be on the road all day going back and forth between family ..so we are going to begin our own tradition. I hope you understand" .....

"WHAT!!! I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD DO THAT..You know that your aunt is going to want to see the kids ..and who will help with the meal. I think that your husband is being totally unfair to make you stay at home..."

A. Honey we just have to go to moms cause I feel so GUILTY...

B..Mom Im sorry, you will do great as you usually do and Im sure you'll not miss 3 tired kids! How about if I drop off a pie on wednesday to help. we sure will miss everyone but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do!
( a note to mom after the holiday expressing your love to her would be a nice touch!)

Well I know we have just scratched the surface on this one.!
But girls lay the guilt down....think through your decisions and stick with them. It will get easier with practice.

Blessings!