Mercie Beaucoup

Hey did I spell that right???

You know THANK YOU.

Remember that word? Well it is both a noun and a verb.
A while back I wrote about the "creeping crud" and I guess this falls within that category.

Granted, I was brought up "old school" whatever that means..
But I think Thank yous are important.

It begins young in the highchair.."Seth give me the ball. Thank you Seth .. now what do you say???"

On into toddlerhood "Here's your icecream Kyle. What do you say?"

Then we hit preschool and school age. "Your teacher gave you that? Did you say thank you?" "When you eat over at Sarah's house be sure you say thank you"

After a birthday,Christmas or when you are the recipient of a special gift, a written thank you is a very nice gesture. The "giver" has put time and effort into the gift... even if it's a "bill" its a bill that could have stayed in the persons pocket!
Children can color a picture, write a short note and hand it to the person when they see them next or just drop it in the mail.

The dinner at a wedding is NOT the thank you. The cake at a birthday party is NOT the thank you.
One of my daughters is very intentional when her little ones are opening gifts. It is one gift at a time unwrapped...oohs and aahs and then the child goes to the person in the room and thanks them and gives them a hug and kiss. Nice touch. If the person is not there the child could even call them and say it.

Ignorance is ignoring the thank you. Strong words I know but that is how I feel. A gift is a gift no matter how small...someone thought of you...

Websters: thank: verb to show or express appreciation or gratitude

thankless:  not feeling or expressing thanks ungrateful

ouch!

Its our job to teach them the "way in which they should go"
and part of that is by example!
need ideas? go to http://www.thank-you-note-samples.com/

Blessings 

Tense??? Make a Tent!!!

Do you know what is really alot of fun? Making a tent.

Tents are great! All you need is a sheet/blanket/spread a table, a couple of chairs or a bunkbed. We would drape the sheets over the dining table and Voila! We had a tent. Books work good at keeping the fabric from slipping. We would also tuck the sheet under the top bunk and let it fall down the side of the bed creating a tent underneath!

So when things are getting down and dirty....
when there is too much whine ...
when patience is running thin....
Say "Hey Kids I know let's make a tent!!"
Make a little popcorn or perhaps some cut up apples or even triangles of cinnamon toast and slip the tray under the side...cuddle up on all the pillows and read a book by flashlight. Tell stories... make a summer wish list Come on you can think of something...get the kids playing and then go make dinner!

Hey its tent making time! I think that this would even work for teenagers HA HA wouldn't they get a hoot out of that! Tonite supper is served under the dining room table instead of on top!

FUN FUN FUN
Blessings 

Play mates

Play mates.

They can be a wonderful asset or not such a good idea.

We were very fortunate to live in a neighborhood with lots of kids when mine were growing up. There was always a fort being built or protected, the sandbox, big wheels, jungle gym, swing set, clubs, etc going on without a pause. It actually was wonderful looking back.

Sometimes I would get frustrated as it seemed like ours was the home where everyone tended to be at lunch time...I griped about it then but now I think "whats a little more peanut butter?"

There were playmates that I loved having over. The kids would just go and have fun... it actually was a help. But then there were the ones that just didn't or couldn't or wouldn't fit in. They were always hungry, tattleling, wanting to do something else, bored, wanting to play with someone other than who they were visiting. It did not take long to peg those....and to tell you the truth they were not invited in too much.

We must also remember that young children are very much like velcro. They will pick up just about anything. So we really need to monitor the playmates that come into our childrens lives.

It is easier when it is at the house but at school it can be a different matter. You might notice some changes in your child. We all know that children can be very mean and heartless. Watch, ask questions and invite these school mates over occasionally to see who they are.

Remember, as we have said in past blogs, these are all learning lessons. We will use all of this to train our child/children to be the one who is invited over, the one who we get compliments about, the one who is respectful, picks up after himself, takes his plate to the sink, says please and thank you. This is the one who is allowed to make himself at home and before long almost becomes a part of the family.

So while you are raising your children, take some time to cultivate some good playmates for them. It is nice when they are children of a friend of yours. Then you both can compare notes and experience all the "fun" together!

Blessings!
Marnie
By the way I dont think we ever get too old to make a friend and have fun.

Naps

I just don't know what has happened?
No one has their children nap anymore! Well at least not many.

Let me tell you I LOVED NAP TIME.
We would go through our morning then lunch would come and then YIPEE it was naptime! 

Did my children beg to go to bed? NO. 

Were they falling asleep in their peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Not ususally. 

Did they want to do something else? Most definitely. BUT

I knew they AND I needed them to take a nap. We would wash up after lunch... and all those little ones, who were not in school yet, would lay down in their beds. I might read a story or perhaps put a tape on for them to listen to....but they WENT to bed. 90% of the time they slept. Usually they would be up in an hour or so....sometimes they would sleep way into the afternoon. As hard as it was for me I tried not to let that happen as I wanted them to be ready for bed by 7:30. I would gently wake them up and it would not be long after a fruit and a piece of candy they would be playing again and soon it would be suppertime.

I needed the break and they needed the nap. It is not mean. It is a good idea! Today, I would wager, that if I asked ANYONE of them if they would like to lay down of an hour or two I would get NO argument!

My mom used to say it was growing time...I think that is so. Any way try it .. you may like it!

3 cheers for nap time!!
Yippee!!
Blessings

Isolate or insulate?

One of the biggest arguments people use against home-schooling is that the parent is isolating the child. He or she will not be prepared to go out into the world because they have not had training or experience with world "stuff".

We as parents should not be isolating our children but rather we need to insulate them. All the writings thus far are tips that we can use to help US to teach THEM what is right vs. wrong. Good vs. bad. Wise vs. foolish.

It is long, hard and grueling. But it will be worth it when you see your child being able to "cope" and make his way.
Use life and experiences that you encounter during the day to teach ie: The guy showing some road rage, The Lady reaching a high shelf for a little old woman at the grocery store, Being patient at a cross walk, Making soup for the sick person at work, shoveling the walk next door as well as your own, sharing, gossip,meaness, kindess. Use all these things that we step around or through each day to teach your children what is right and wrong, best and not good.

Teaching and preparing them for the inevitable things in life is insulation, Knowing there will always be someone who does not like us, Realizing that life is not fair.
I once heard a teaching on "are you a thermometer or a thermostat?" Do you react to what's going on around you or do you set the atmosphere around you.
Hummmm something to think about.
Blessings
Marnie
Keep up the good work!

I'm Sorry

Why is it SO HARD to get your little one to say “I’m sorry.”?
Sally has ______________________________ (fill in the blank) You say “Oh no Sally ..that was not a nice thing to do! Now you tell Peter that you are sorry.”
The mouth clamps shut. The back straightens and the standoff begins.

What do you do?
It is hard to get much of anything across to your little one as long as there is an audience. It is best to remove the child to a more private spot, get down on his/her level and deal with the situation. Explain in detail what just happened or (get to the bottom of what just happened). Talk through why it was wrong. Be prepared to take a little time.
When there has been understanding tell your child that she needs to go and ask forgiveness. This is important.
I know so many adults that are unable to say they are sorry, unable to admit that they were wrong. It needs to become a way of life when the child is young so that it is not so big of a deal when they are older.

If Sally continues to balk at the request bring in a consequence and follow it through. “You can just sit here in this room until you are ready to apologize to Peter. When you are ready come and get me and I will go with you.” The apology needs to be complete. The child needs to be taught to look into the person's eyes, speak clearly (no whispering or whining) say that they are sorry and for what. “Peter I am sorry that I broke your YoYo. Will you please forgive me?” Then Peter needs to say “Yes, I forgive you.”

Parents this is training for life. Life will be full of give and take, apologies and forgiveness. Don’t skip over this important training in your child’s life. This is a valuable lesson.

Round 3, and the Winner is...

When our children fight with each other we must not enter the fray! We are the referee not one of the fighters.

There is no need to enter the fight. Keep your cool. Stay calm. Don’t scream.
Just deal. As an adult assess the situation and decide what needs to be done.
Sometimes little ones will just fight because. People say Boys will be boys… Yes but NO. It is not acceptable.


Separate the kids first. Take them into different parts of the house.
Let it be made known that fighting will not be tolerated. Get to the bottom of the issue and settle it.
One of my weird sayings was “ You will not be allowed to get along with anyone OUTSIDE of the house until you can get along with everyone INSIDE the house” In other words don’t expect to do anything fun until you can get along with your siblings.


Parenting is a lot of work…But it just comes with the territory! Use the years wisely as there will come a day that it will be all over and your sphere of influence will be much smaller if not non existent.
Blessings!

I Won't and You Can't Make Me!

The morning starts out on the wrong foot and THEN Jessie will NOT go into the daycare. She kicks. She screams. She sits on the floor and won’t budge. She clings to your leg. Got the picture?
Now we all know this is not fun and all the more when we are tired and its only 7:30 in the morning. What do we do???

We are at the nursery door at church and Chuckie is screaming “NOOOOOOOOOO! “

We are at the dentist and the child WILL NOT sit in the chair.

We are at the beach and Jason does not want to go home. He runs away.

We are at Nannies, and Cory….who has gone past the point of no return…has wet her pants and can't stop crying ….for anything.

Don’t you just wish you could wiggle your nose and find that the child has been transported into her pj's and is snug in bed? Darn it just does not work that way.!

OK lets get down to brass tacks.

These are all difficult situations that happen at one time or the other….usually when the child is young . What you do now is foundational.

You must win. If you don’t you have thrown some “power/authority” away. The child has won a point. After winning a point, believe me, they will continue to “dribble”! ( did you understand that pun?)

Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Communication is key in the above situations. Be talking about what is going to happen way before the day. Let the child know how it is going to work and what you expect. You can promise a reward for smooth sailing. Stay calm and handle it! You ARE the mom! (aunt,grandparent,sitter etc)

Part 2 Television and Movies

Do you think that the television should be a part of your child’s bedroom furniture?

I remember a number of years ago sitting at the dining table with my children when the topic of televisions came up. It would seem like a number of their peers in grade school had televisions in their bedrooms. My children made it known that they wished we “had enough money” that they could have tvs in their rooms also. I made it very clear that “even if I owned 1 million dollars” that they would still not be allowed to have televisions or telephones in their rooms. Wow what a wake up call that was!

Call me old fashioned….. I don’t want my children hidden away in their rooms for hours at a time. I want to hear who they are talking to and for how long. I want to know what they are watching and how much time they are spending in front of the TV.

I think if an alien space ship landed today in America that they very well might come to the conclusion that the TV is our god. We lay in front of it. We have it on continually. We have one in each and every room. Some are as big as whole walls!

Now I don’t have any real gripe with TVs or movies for that matter. I have a concern about how much time we are letting them suck up of our lives and what they are teaching to our children while we are not paying attention.

Have you ever heard of good music, conversations, board or card games??? Did you know there is a world to be explored in books? Let the television and movies be a treat and not the norm. Try it you may like it!

PS We took a year when the kids were small and put the TV away. It was not a punishment but a discipline. It took a little getting used to but turned out to be very good in many different ways. One thing I can tell you for sure is it will sensitize you again. When we watched again for the first time in a long time I was startled by the commercials ( both stupid and crude) plus the loudness and visual clutter that it brought into the room. Try an experiment and turn it (them) off for a week or month and then bring it (them) back into your life ON YOUR TERMS!

Life is good.

Television and the Movies

Do you oversee what your children watch on television or at the movies? Do you expect them to make good choices on their own if they have never been trained?Do you care?
It is a well known fact that the television is used as a babysitter in many instances. We have all used it at one time or another.
In many homes the television is just on for noise …. But do you realize that that noise is feeding into a mind and forming opinions and foundations for life? I personally don’t even think that you should fall asleep to the tv!
Children are going to the movies at very young ages. What used to be a treat is now the norm. You can go into the theater to watch an "adult" picture ( and I don’t mean XXX) and see parents walking in with toddlers in tow. I went to see "When a Stranger Calls" ( a very suspenseful movie) and was shocked to see so many little children in the seats!
Parents…..it’s our responsibility. We should be the ones to turn the TV on and to turn it off. We should be aware of how much and what our children are watching. If you’re not sure if it’s good programming, ask some questions or watch the program with your childf. There are also sites that you can go to that spell the movie out before you let your child go.
You know what? EVERYBODY is NOT going.
Please care. Guard and guide your kids . You’ll be glad that you did!
The Bible has a verse that I think is appropriate here: "Whatsoever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things" Philippians 4:9
Stay tune for part 2 should television be a part of your child’s bedroom furniture.

I Didn't Believe That I Would Say It

But I did.


"I am glad that I am not raising children today"  


Now in essence I still am as my youngest is still in her teens.  (Granted I just stepped out of a week of being with 6 of my grandchildren for 24 hours a day :)


But the current seems stronger today as we swim upstream.  The family is being lulled to sleep as never before.  There is a financial crisis  demanding that both parents work in many families.  Because of guilt and keeping up with the Jones we buy our children the newest of every gadget and have our children involved in many extra activities.   Chores are not mandatory and children for the most part are not learning at their "parent's knee" but being parented by the television, afterschool care and the playground.


It concerns me.  I took my grandchildren to see the Wizard of Oz this last week and as I watched the scene of the poppies that brought sleep upon the group skipping through the field. .(It was a tactic the wicked witch used to keep them from their destination) I see the same thing happening today.


Parents,  please check your pulse.  Are you awake or dozing?  Take a long hard look at how the kids are doing and see if things are getting ahead of you.  There is no time as good as present to take ground back that you may have lost.


Need to talk?  Call


Blessings!

An Adventure!

Dear Friends

On Sunday I and my son Hudson will embark on our 4th annual Cousin Camp. 

 We are having a Farm Adventure this year and traveling to my home town in

 Maine to our "once was" dairy farm.  

The 6 grandchildren will be with me until next Saturday thus you will not see 

any musings or parenting blogs for the week.  I hope that you will miss them!

Please pray for our safety, health  and camaraderie as we enjoy each others 

company and learn more about the Lord.  I covet your prayers knowing full 

well that the week will be full of life and excitement.  

Thank you again
Grandbabe, Hudson and the six cousins; Brieya 11, Ian 11, Harmony 9, 

Brooklyn 7, Autumn 6 and Cade 5

NO is Not a Four Letter Word!

No is NOT a four letter word!

No, as negative as it is, is not a negative word. Wow that was an interesting sentence!

It is important to say “no” to our children. To every positive there is a negative. To every yes there is a no.

No is not a punishment. It is an instructive word.

Parents please don’t be afraid to use it. But back it up. Don’t just use it and not follow it through. Think before you say it.

You know it is not bad to say no to ourselves as well! “NO don’t have that last piece of cake!” “ No do not gossip.” “No get off the phone and read to the kids”

OK that’s all I have to say about the matter! Enough negative for one day! We have been busy here at Gilead's Balm so our writings have slacked off. Sorry. Do any of you have any topics that you want me to write on?

Blessings!

OUCH That Hurts!!!

Biting. Now that can be an embarrassing situation for a parent. You are at a play date and Carl takes a hunk out of Mark or at least leaves his imprint. Yikes what do you do then? First apologize to the Mom and child and then take your situation into hand. Remove your child to a place where you can mean business.

It’s interesting how some children bite and some don’t. I’m not sure why.

One thing I do know is…..if your child bites ANYONE make sure that it is the last time he does it!

We were sitting for a little 3 year old and her brother a number of years back. I had a 5-6 year old at the time. The little girl decided to leave her teeth prints on my daughters arm…which REALLY HURT! Not only did it hurt physically but emotionally as well!

I remember it well…Kendall came running, crying very hard. She told me what happened. I WISKED the little one up and sat her eye to eye on the counter in front of me and with a LOUD, STERN voice said, “don’t you ever, ever, ever, bite! We do not bite here. Look at this boo- boo that you made.”. I continued on this line, nose to nose with this little one and believe me she was getting the message. After a bit ( no pun) I questioned her about what I was saying. I made her repeat after me. I stayed on this for a minute or two and then I sat her in a chair for a short while.

She never bit again (at least in my house). She got the message.

Sometimes I feel that the quick movement and loud wording is all it takes. I was not screaming. I was in full control. I did not bite her back. I made her apologize for what she had done and kept a close eye on her for the next few weeks.

Sometimes we just need to “spring into action” It seems to create an atmosphere of tension that helps the offender know that you are serious and he/she is not sure what is going to happen next.

I have known people that had to have a pet put down because of uncontrolled biting … enough said!

Blessings,
Marnie
PS:You can also insert the following words where Biting…is used
Pinching
Hitting
Pushing
Name calling
Bullying
I think that you are getting the idea!