Thursday, December 29, 2011

What's the Temperature?

Are you a thermometer or a thermostat?

Do you regulate the atmosphere in your home or do you just react to what is going on around  you?

This is important to know about yourself.  Remember the saying   "If mama's not happy then no body's happy"
I'm afraid there is alot of truth in this statement.  Wow...what power!
The power, control and the ability to make those we love miserable and nervous.  Does your family "walk on eggshells around you always wondering  how your day is going?

If any of these statements belong to you  I suggest that you get some help.   The Scripture says that the "power of life and death are in the tongue"  Yikes!

I believe you knew with in the first 4 lines of this blog if this pertained to you.  
If you are a thermostat ...set an even temperature.  Your family will thrive on your consistent tone and behavior.  
If you are a thermometer, ask yourself why.  Why am I so stressed?  Am I filled with fear?  Am I angry?  Why are my days and thoughts filled with so much emotion?
   
Find someone to talk to, an older woman perhaps that can guide you and help train you to walk on a new path.  
You can do it and your family will do so much better because you took the step!

Blessings!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A reader writes:


My 8 year old is NOT a shy child at all! However, when we went by my office to drop some paperwork off and people were saying hi to her, she grabbed my jacket and hid behind me and was "acting" shy. I addressed it quietly then and told her to say hi back, and she quickly started to smile and laugh and interact appropriately. When we got home, I brought it up again and addressed it further and told her that her actions were rude and that it would be much more polite to say "hello" back or simply smile and wave her hand. 
In my case, it was what seemed to me to be attention seeking behavior...she thought she would get more attention if she were to act shy...but in her attempt to gain more attention she was being rude.
...is this an appropriate conclusion?



Thank you for your comment.  I believe that you did the correct thing. 
2 things
#1 In most situations I don't believe that an 8 year old is thinking through "getting more attention"  She is just reacting to a situation and being "awkward".  One of the definitions is  "lacking social grace and assurance"


#2  In the bold type of the comment lies a great technique.  "when we got home"  It is a GOOD thing to bring back up situations like this and take them from a "happening" to a learning time.  
Use everything, parents.   USE things you see, hear or deal with personally by bringing them back into discussion.  If parents would do this instead of overreacting, berating and or overlooking and dismissing...children would learn alot faster.  


5-6 year olds and up will benefit from these learning times and you will as well knowing that you have addressed certain issues.  It is not wasted on younger children as well but you will have to remind more often.  ie  the next time you are going out address it before hand reminding the child what their response needs to be.   
You can even play act it out.  All these techniques help.



Monday, December 26, 2011

Taking An Assessment

So how did it go?


Did you have enough time to do all you wanted to?
Was your food well thought out?
Your decorations satisfactory?
Were you satisfied with your shopping?  Not too much and not too little?
Did you get to visit or invite in those you wanted?
What would you like to change next year?
What would you like to keep the same?


Make a small note to yourself and keep it where you will find it.  It is good to do this while it is fresh in your mind.  You have a whole year to think it through, you could even start your own personal Christmas club and save $10 a week in an account to make it less painful when the holiday arrives again.  
Whatever you decide take a moment and breath.  Sit down with a cup of coffee and think it through. Perhaps it would be easier with a good friend who can ask the right questions and have some good ideas. 


Year 2012 is in a few short days, don't be caught by surprise!


Blessings!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Dear Readers

Just a moment to say Thank You.


Thank you for reading these blogs
Thank you for the desire to be a good parent
Thank you for loving outside of the box
Thank you for the encouragement that you send back to me


Thank you
Merry Christmas and a Prosperous and Joyous New Year


Blessings
Marnie

Friday, December 23, 2011

Twas the Day Before Christmas

Hurried, Harried, Irritable, Abrupt 
Do any of those words apply?  Believe me, I KNOW the routine.  We are down to the wire and we have enough on our list to keep a dozen people busy for a few hours. 
Would you please take a seat for a moment. 
Ask yourself what you want your children to remember about this precious holiday.   I dare say, 59 years later, I sincerely doubt that they will remember anything about something forgotten, unwrapped, unbaked etc etc etc  They WILL  remember a puzzle shared, a movie watched as a family, a time cuddling on the couch, all pitching in to make dinner, the smiles, the music and the atmosphere'  
Don't break your neck or anyone elses for that matter.....its not worth it.  Martha Stewart HAS that army working for her and a big fat bankroll to boot so don't even try to compete   Also Hallmark is a movie not reality.  
Reality is what you make it, your home, your family and the love felt walking through the door.
 Blessings on you this Christmas Season!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Shyness/ Being Courteous

Another reader question:
"sometimes when meeting new people she gets shy and nervous and won't make eye contact. If someone says "Nice to meet you" or "how are you?" she will look away and respond or respond as she is walking away. I tell her all the time to look at them in the eye or wait to walk away until she responds so they know she is acknowledging them but it doesn't seem to help. Is this something I will just have to keep reminding her of and hope that it will change? I just feel like she looks rude even though I know she is just feeling awkward sometimes."

Personally,  I believe that shyness should be addressed  and can be helped with practice.  Explain to her why you think it is important and that it is something that you want her to learn.  This should not be an option. (this needs to be an intentional conversation)
Perhaps you can make a game of it. Act it out thru out the week.  Practice with some of her friends and your friends.  Play act.    Your friend sticks out her hand and says nice to meet you Jane.  Jane shakes the hand and simply says," thank you". 
If someone compliments her dress  she needs to learn to say thank you.    
It is not too hard for her and sometimes can actually falls into the same category as not being willing to say sorry when they are wrong.  
Rebellion looks different at different ages! 
It is a process of learning.    
Next she needs to be the initiator.   "Hello, Mrs. Smith,  How are you today?" 
Get the first part down pat first and then you can start to work on this second area. 
Like with anything else, you can reward or discipline as the need be.  Early bed time would be good in this case...or just making her stay by your side if she does not respond appropriately.
Parenting is not for the lazy by any means!  Good work Mom!


Blessings!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Thoughts

I saw a video the other day of a young girl opening up a present by the tree.  It was a scarf and her disappointment was absolutely palatable!   She kept looking at the scarf and then at her dad and finally said, "Dad you know that I wanted a cellphone"  A few minutes later another "present" began to ring and she excitedly ripped it open to find her hidden gift.


We've all seen it and some have probably acted it out.....  disappointment. 
Well Christmas is in a couple of days and I think you would all be wise to have a talk before hand.


Christmas is for giving.    We so often let our children off the hook because its a child's holiday but what are your children giving?   They can make cards or small ornaments, cookies etc.  The dollar store is a good shopping place for them.  You need to teach them that it is not all about them and the earlier the better.  


Speak to them also about attitude.  Remind them that Aunt Lois always gives clothes that don't fit.  But that it is the thought that counts and teach them how to go about being sincerely thankful and not throwing the artical in the pile to pounce on the next present.  Teach them to say thank you personally.  Have them write thank you notes between Christmas and New Years.


Talk to them about words like "spoiled",  "ungrateful",  "rude" , sharing, blessing etc etc.  Talk about the Christmas Story and read the story in the book of  Luke in the Bible.


Prepare and teach, this is a parents job.


Remember your actions speak very lout also!
Blessings!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Teach the Lesson Well


A reader writes:
"My daughter is 8 now and when she is with me she (most of the time) is very compliant and sweet. However, when she is with her friends she starts to almost act like she is a mini-teenie-bopper. The way she talks changes, her mannerisms, and she doesn't seem herself. She doesn't act bad or do anything wrong in particular but I see an attitude that I'm not sure I really like.....do you have any suggestions about what to do about this?" 
You are ABSOLUTELY right ~ that it is not what you want to see.  She is growing up and there are new lessons every day.  You are doing a good job.
Your daughter  needs to know her boundaries clearly.  Do not back down and if she cannot "pass the test" with friends then she is not old enough to spend time with them.  Explain it well 

One day my grade school daughter asked to go to the library with friends. Now I knew these girls and they attended her school but I knew they did not have the same focus that our family did, (they dressed and acted well past their age).  I ended up saying yes and that I would pick her up at a certain time.
When I arrived the girls were not studying but were sitting in another part of the building and as I walked up to them I noticed that my daughter's face was totally "made up"  .  I addressed her friends and we said good bye and headed for the car.  On our way home after a bit of chat I said, " well, you failed the test."   "What test?" my daughter responded.  
I then explained to her the reason I let her go to the library was not for a makeup lesson but to study ~ I made it clear that she would not be allowed to do this activity again until I felt that she could hold her own and stick to the parameters that were set.
During these years we are constantly testing our children's actions  As we loosen tight boundaries and allow them to be "pushed out" a little, we watch and listen to see if our child is mature enough for the added responsibility...the test.   If not we set the boundary back in place.  We should not be moved by our child's peers    Didn't you ever hear your mom say "Well, I'm not Johnny's mom!"
6 years later this lesson will still come up in conversation (in a good way)  I want children that will be their own person and not swayed by all the personalities that they will meet along the way.  Whether it is riding the bike around the block for the first time , using the phone or taking the car...Make the boundaries known and then stick with them.   It is a wonderful thing to see your child mature and "get it"    During these years it is your job to protect and teach. Teach the lesson well....You don't have to apologize for well thought out boundaries.
  Stick with it

Blessings!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Forwarded by my Brother

If I had my child to raise over again:


I'd build self esteem first and the house later.
I'd finger paint more and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play.
I'd run thru more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I'd be firm less often and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power and more about the power of love.


By Diane Loomans

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Promises, Promises

Just a short word of caution.
It does matter what we say to our kids.
Think it through.   Don't use maybe unless it really leans towards "yes"
If you say it ~ mean it .  If you promise ~ follow it through.
If you offer money ~ pay it.
If you say you are going to do something, be somewhere, get something ~ DO IT.


Otherwise just DON'T SAY IT!


Many times our "mean to" is not followed by action ....Determine to follow through immediately or sooner.


Too often children grow up full well knowing that their parent really will not follow through.


Decide today, for this coming New Year, that you are going to be one who follow through, mean what they say and does what they promise.


Blessings!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Little Garbage Can



I spoke to a young mom today about her step son.  It was not a good situation.  He is 10 and causing so many problems.   As we talked I realized we so often just  want our child, husband, etc to just GET IT!  But it is like expecting them to speak French without ever taking a lesson!
We say it is common sense ...perhaps to the one who has it...but totally uncommon to those not raised with it.


I saw this little boy as a little garbage can.   Just like a new little bucket that we buy to place under our sink for scraps, this little boy comes into the world helpless and empty.  If he is raised (not) in a dysfunctional situation little bits of garbage are put into him over the years,   He is never listened to,  is always underfoot, can never do anything right, is punished and corrected over and over and over with never an encouraging word.  NO WONDER he is a problem!  He is full of the lack all around him and is only mirroring it and soon just trying to protect himself.


YOU on the other hand are the adult!  You are the one who needs to get a grip.  YOU can change the atmosphere in your home.  If you don't know how ~ find out,  call me, read a book or call a friend.  
But it IS YOU who must take the step to stopping the insanity!  


It CAN BE STOPPED and you can learn new techniques and ways to bring this little guy around and make your house a home.


Send me questions....I will answer!


Blessings!











SMILE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ihQuiyV-lXU

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Jesus and Santa

A Reader writes:
I have a question for you. We have been doing the elf on a shelf with our son  but I don't know if this is OK to do. Is believing in Santa and the elves wrong to teach? I struggle with this and I'm not sure if I should just tell him the truth.




Marnie's thoughts:


I love the traditions of Christmas.   I grew up with stories of Santa leaving all my father's toys out in the middle of the back field at 3 in the morning..  How the children had to get dressed and walk way out in the cold to collect their toys, strewn over the frozen ground.(This because my grandfather had surprised Santa  by trying to catch him and "he" flew out of sight throwing the toys as he went)
Also a time when my dad and siblings were sitting in front of the fire on the Eve of Christmas when a whole harness  etc came down the chimney into the fire, strewing sparks everywhere.


We grew up on pins and needles from Thanksgiving on as my dad would work over time throwing pebbles at windows  ringing bells and being seen far away in his red Santa suit. 


 I love those memories.


My mom would focus on the manger and we knew it was Christ's birth.  It was not a confusing time.  This is all personal preference and today it is harder to protect your child's innocence as children seem grown up at 5.


I never once thought that my parents were liars when I found out.   I was a little sad as I  missed  the suspense of the season   


It is a personal preference.  I don't think that you should lie but living in the mystery  and excitement  of the season has made a childhood memory that I  never want to forget.


There is a great sculpture of Santa kneeling at the Manger.  Set your nativity up and tell the story.  Make a memory by moving Baby Jesus every night as He makes his journey to the manger on  Christmas morning.  This is a good activity for the child that now "knows" the truth and gives them a chance to be part.


We would hang numbered handmade snowflakes or Christmas trees that we hung  from the doorway and the children took turns taking one down.  We also did an advent calendar.
There are SO MANY things that you can adopt as memories.  Just google Christmas for children and see what comes up.  Pick a few that  will work for your family and have fun!


Jesus it's YOUR birthday!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Practical ~

Do you know where the snowsuits are?
Boots.?? 
Mittens??
Hats??


I  have memories of that first snow storm and a line of kids all excitedly waiting to go out and play.  Unpacking, trying on, sizing up, etc etc.


Today ~  do it.  Find it all.  Shop for what you do not have.  Christmas is coming and it may be a good time to buy some new mittens.  Decide where the boots will go.  Are there pegs or clothes pins for the wet hats and mittens, a place to hang coats and snow pants?  


You will be glad that you are prepared and you may just be able to bless someone with some things that your kids have outgrown.


Blessings!


"Oh the weather outside will be frightful!"

Sunday, December 11, 2011

snow.ppssnow.pps
5231K   View   Download 


Here are some beautiful pictures and some wise sayings.   Think about them and take what apply.


The only one who can change your life is YOU and you are one step away from making the change


I know that you can do it!
Blessings!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Psalm 38

1 LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger 
   or discipline me in your wrath.



David did not want to be disciplined in anger and wrath.  I would dare say that no one reading this would want that as well.


Your child would say it also if they knew how to.
I pray that you do not have a problem in this area.


But there are times, days, seasons that are hard.  We are short tempered, stressed and with this added knowledge of our weaknesses we all the more tend to lose it.


Friend, give yourself a time out.  Back off and get away from the children. Call someone, get help.  Its ok to reach out.  It is better than the alternative.  Children CAN drive you nuts!


But we must remember they are children.  They are needing training and discipline. They too can become scarred and wounded.

Call me if you need to talk or get help on some new strategies.   
Blessings!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Christmas: So Much Hubbub!!

Why???
 What causes us to rush around spending money that we don't have.???...writing lists and Christmas cards into the wee hours of the morning.???...cooking foods that we shouldn't eat? Spending hours decorating our homes???

Why it's Christmas of course!!!
The Savior's Big Birthday Party!

I'm sure that the Lord does not expect all this fanfare that we put into this holiday,this day that began with  such humble beginnings. 

Take some moments to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas; How God saw that we needed help and sent His Son to become like us.  Jesus was ultimately led to the cross, so that we could walk in the freedom won for us all on that weekend that is now celebrated as Easter.

Save a few dollars and jot some notes this Christmas. Tell your husband what he really means to you, how you appreciate his support and allegiance to the family. Take time to appreciate each of your children with a note and remember your relatives as well.

These notes are priceless! They far outlast the Twister game and the ipod. Yellowed and permanently creased, we will read and reread anything that was and is written out of love for us. It does not have to be long, just heartfelt.

So this mad, crazy, hubbub time of year....carve out some REAL time and do what will mean the most:

 Tell someone that you love them!!!

Blessings to you all, and to all a good night!
Lovingly

Marnie


www.comeinandrest.com

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Unseen Guest~

Have you ever had someone come for a visit and before you know it their little one is nowhere in sight?
Mom does not seem to be concerned.   The two five year olds are playing in the playroom but 2 year old Johnny is just "roaming".


The question is...Should there be "roaming charges?


If Johnny breaks something, destroys something, tears something apart...who's responsibility is whose?


Parents.  
If you are visiting someone (esp. outside of your family) please do not assume that they are going to have sippy cups, diapers, baby food, binkys, bibs etc etc.  The child is YOUR  responsibility so travel prepared.  Today pack a bag that you can grab that already has a change of clothes plus the things I just mentioned.  Include a book or small toy in case you find your self in a spot where he needs to be entertained. It is unfair to expect your host to have all the paraphernalia that you need, and it can put them in an awkward position.


If you have a toddler that will not have a playmate, come prepared for the time that you will be visiting.  I totally realize that there may be little actual visiting going on with your active child present...but oh well it is a phase that will not last forever.  I found  it often just better to be the host home.  My children already knew what they could and couldn't do, I had what I needed for nap time etc. and actually enjoyed the visit with my friend as well.


So if Johnny breaks something ~ be prepared to pay for it or replace it.   If your friend says "Oh, don't worry about it"  Realize that she had the object for a reason before you came. It may have been a gift, an heirloom or even a yard-salers delight.  It really does not matter whether it's worth was $2.00 or $200.00 they were not expecting it to be broken..


Bottom line           YOUR CHILD = YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Please take this to heart and prepare to be a Parent!


Blessings!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Where's the Line to see Jesus?

This is very lovely..  Please read the story before watching the video.
That is a good question!
I think you'll love this....read the story  FIRST  then listen/watch the video.
As the stores start displaying Christmas trees and the like, I wanted to share this song with you.  I know you will enjoy it. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=OExXItDyWEY&vq=medium 

About the Song

While at the mall a couple of years ago, my then four year old nephew, Spencer, saw kids lined up to see Santa Claus. 
Having been taught as a toddler that Christmas is the holiday that Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, he asked his mom, "where's the line to see Jesus"?
My sister mentioned this to my dad, who immediately became inspired and jotted words down to a song in just a few minutes. After putting music to the words, and doing a quick recording at home, he received a great response from friends. He sent the song off to Nashville without much response, except for a Christian song writer who suggested adding a bridge at the end of the first chorus. My dad then asked if I wanted to record the song to see what we could do with it. I listened to the song, made a few changes to the words to make it flow better, and we headed to Shock City Studios. It was at the studio where Chris, owner and producer, rewrote the 2nd verse and part of the chorus... with goosebumps and emotions high, we were all hopeful and felt like we had something special. The demo was recorded in just under 2 hours and sent off again to Nashville... still no response. Then 2 weeks before Christmas last year, my cousins Greg and Robbie decided to do a video to see what we could accomplish on YouTube. The first day we had 3000 hits and it soared from there. We received e-mails, phone calls, Facebook messages from people all over asking for the music, CD's, iTunes, anything... we had nothin'. After a couple of meetings with Chris following the amazing response, we got serious. We headed back into the studio this past spring... this time with guitars, drums, bass, pianos, choirs... the real deal.... and here we are today. Getting iTunes set up, a website put together, and loving that thousands upon thousands of Christians have come together... remembering the true meaning of Christmas. Out of the mouths of babes come profound truths that many adults can not understand. Hopefully Spencer's observation will cause people all over to reflect on the love of Jesus, and that one day we will all stand in line to see Him. We are most thankful to our Heavenly Father to have this chance to share our music with you. Merry Christmas everyone.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Holy Humor

GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story
of the Good Samaritan.  She asked the class, "If you saw
a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding,
what would you do?"  A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah
did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"  "No," replied Johnny.  "How could he, with just two worms."

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible -
Psalm 23 .  She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.  Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm.  After much practice, he
could barely get past the first line.  On the day that the kids
were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.  When it was his turn, he stepped up
to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father
always paused and bowed his head for a moment before
starting his sermon.  One day, she asked him why.  "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant
of his messages.  "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a
good sermon."
  "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your
mother says your prayers for you each night?  That's very commendable. What does she say?"
  The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers , she
would bless every family member, every friend, and every
animal (current and past).  For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include
this closing.  My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"  Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers
by saying 'All Men'!"

SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.  Everyone was seated around the table
as the food was being served.  When Little Johnny received
his plate, he started eating right away.  "Johnny!  Please wait
until we say our prayer."  said his mother.  "I don't need to,"
the boy replied.  "Of course, you do "his mother insisted.
"We always say a prayer before eating at our house."  "That's
at our house." Johnny explained.  "But this is Grandma's
house and she knows how to cook."

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Take a Good Long Look ~ and Change

As with the Worthless Women post, I feel that some more strong words need to be said today. I’ll try to keep today’s post “less long”. I hope that by the end, the message comes together and these words will get both the men and women who read it to step back and at least think about a few things.
Because, we have a problem.
Men are lousy husbands.
Men are scatter-brained. Men are stupid. Men aren’t capable of making good choices.
Men aren’t good enough in their religions. Men aren’t good enough in their spirituality. Men aren’t strong enough in their faith.
Men are terrible cooks. Men don’t help enough around the house.
Men are careless.
Men work too much. They also don’t work enough.
Men don’t bring in large enough incomes. Men don’t properly support their families. Men don’t give their everything for their family’s well-being.
Men aren’t ambitious enough.
Men only care about sex. They have way too big or way too small of sex drives. They’re overly concerned with how big their penises are. They have too little tenderness and concern for their sexual counterparts.
Men don’t appreciate their women enough. Men don’t love their women enough. Men don’t find their women to be beautiful enough.
Men are insensitive. Men don’t cry enough. Men act too macho.
Men are also too sissy. They are too girly. They aren’t manly enough.
Men are lousy fathers.
Men don’t play with their children enough. They don’t spend enough time with their children. The time they do spend is not good enough.
At the same time, men also give too much attention to their children and not nearly enough to their lovers.
Men don’t have feelings. Men are mean. Men are nasty.
Men are bad neighbors. Men are bad in-laws.
Men aren’t smart enough to make big decisions. Men aren’t caring enough to understand.
Men are, simply put, worthless.
At least, that is what women constantly tell men. Everything on this list is something that I, or one of my male friends or family members, have heard from some woman somewhere.
Today I am typing in frustration, for that I apologize. You see, I’ve come to understand (and was just reminded over the course of a phone call) that women often have no problem declaring everything they want their men to be, and then making absolute certain that it never happens.
Ladies, go through the list above and be honest, just as you were on the Worthless Women post. How many of these things have you thought about men or said to a man that you love? Men, you be honest too. How many of these things do you believe to be true about yourselves? How many of these things have you been personally told? How many of these things have you seen weigh heavily on other men?
I’d be willing to bet it’s close to one hundred percent. It is a serious problem, for which the cause is complex. And with the media constantly dumbing down or ripping men to shreds, how could it possibly not be a problem? Flip through the television for an hour, you’ll hear at least half of those things declared about men by the entertainment industry and the media.
Why? Because it’s okay. For some damned reason it’s okay. And often, it’s okay because somebody has declared that it’s funny.
A wife can bash on her husband all she wants. She can make fun of him, ridicule him, belittle him, and make him feel like a giant turd. But, the moment the man does it back, he’s a douche bag… and all of her friends, sisters, and even her mother are going to hear about it.
A woman can hit a man. She can physically assault him. She can push him. She can slap him. If he doesn’t take it “like a man”, he’s called a… woman. A girl. A sissy. How ironic. Yet, the moment a man so much as lays a finger on a female, he’s labeled as abusive.
Many women will read this and think, I don’t do that. If that’s true, good for you. Perhaps, though, you should watch yourself for the next few days and see just how often you actually do participate, even if in minor ways.
Watch how often you make a sarcastic or snide comment about something the man in your life just did.
Watch how often you “playfully” slap him when he says something “stupid”.
Watch how often you tell him something (anything) he did wasn’t good enough.
Watch how often you roll your eyes at him because he didn’t do something exactly the way you would have done it.
Watch how often he shuts off, groans, or says something snide back to you.
You see, men react to all of these things much differently than women do. We hide behind tough-guy acts. We move on as if whatever was just said had no effect on us. We pretend that we’re above caring. We often laugh it off.
But we do internalize it. And we hate it.
I promise you, it’s not just me. Every man hates it…