or the Dentist chair or the Eye Dr etc etc.
Becky will NOT let the dentist look in her mouth. Eric will NOT allow the barber to cut his hair. If mom and or dad push the situation ~ war breaks out!
What to do?
You have scheduled the appointment and now you start talking about it. You talk all day long, constantly bringing it up so that the child will not be taken by surprise. If by chance you should decide to pop into the salon, spur of the moment, you take the child, look them square in the face and tell them what is going to happen and what you expect. Keep the dialog going until you reach a submissive spirit. If you don't there will have to be an immediate consequence.
I can hear you..."You have no idea what you are talking about. I will not subject myself or the other patrons to that "
This is just another place that the child needs to know that you are the boss and that he/she needs to obey. Period. The first and the second time may be a little rough but it will get better. You will need to set up situations where you can continue to work on the behavior over a short amount of time.
Just like potty training, make up your mind to tackle this. It will not likely be as difficult as it looks.
"Susie tomorrow we are going to get your hair cut"
"NO MOM! (crying) I wont go! You cant make me etc!"
"Come over here" (as you get on her level, holding her body, you look right into her eyes and say) " Susie, we ARE going to the salon. It does not hurt to get your hair cut. I cut mine all the time. You are going to get in the chair and the lady is going to put an apron on you and the wash your hair. None of this will hurt or even get in your eyes, then she is going to trim your hair. I bet when you are done you will LOVE it!"
Do you understand? Tell me what I just said"
This may take a bit of dialog that is why it is best to plan it in advance.
Now IF you get there and Susie starts to stiffen up and be stubborn you will remove her from the chair and take you where you are alone ( perhaps you could let the salon know ahead of time that you are going to be dealing with this issue) YOU DO NOT need to be embarrassed ! You are in the midst of parenting! Our embarrassment should only come when you children have simply run amok because we have not done our jobs.
Again you will get close to her face and sounding very firm you will say "I want you to stop the way you are acting, We are going to go back to the chair and you are going to finish" If it STILL a problem you will either try one more time or quickly take her home. You will be firm and quiet. You will take her immediately into her room on her bed and say " I am disappointed in your behavior. You are going to sit here until you are ready to do as I ask"
Expect an apology to you and the barber and just keep talking about it until the next appointment I fully realize that this is never convenient. BUT again it will get better and easier. The younger the children are when they realize that you mean what you say and follow through the less situations you will have to deal with in the future.
These behaviors are not always easy to "write" about as there are so many scenarios etc that the blog would turn into a book. I, again, am more than happy to dialog with you about any of these issues. I personally am not opposed to a paddle on the bottom during times of out-right disobedience. Always discipline in private and having your emotions under control or wait until you can.
As always, Blessings on you and yours!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Talking About Lying
...You know those little white ones or the ones we grin at as our toddler holds the lipstick behind her back, all the while her face is covered, and innocently says " mommy, I haven't been in your makeup!"
What to do about lying?
First of all I want to say that I don't think you should ever laugh or smile about lying. Too many times we reiterate bad behavior as we tell our mate or friend what little Johnny just did. Our children hear us and too often think that it was no big deal cause mom is laughing about it now.
When your child first begins to lie, you need to as best as you can, talk to them about why it is not the right thing to do. I suggest you get a child's book about the subject.
Lying has to be dealt with.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/behavior/lying.aspx is a good write up about lying.
"Above all, recognize that the purpose and desire of every parent is to encourage honesty. That is a characteristic, not just a behavior. When all is said and done, we want our children to love the truth, not to fear it; and to hate lies, not merely the punishment that lying brings" T. Quek.
What to do about lying?
First of all I want to say that I don't think you should ever laugh or smile about lying. Too many times we reiterate bad behavior as we tell our mate or friend what little Johnny just did. Our children hear us and too often think that it was no big deal cause mom is laughing about it now.
When your child first begins to lie, you need to as best as you can, talk to them about why it is not the right thing to do. I suggest you get a child's book about the subject.
Lying has to be dealt with.
http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/behavior/lying.aspx is a good write up about lying.
"Above all, recognize that the purpose and desire of every parent is to encourage honesty. That is a characteristic, not just a behavior. When all is said and done, we want our children to love the truth, not to fear it; and to hate lies, not merely the punishment that lying brings" T. Quek.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Night Time Woes
A young mom writes: "My 3yr old twins are not sleeping in their beds and it's gone from bad to worse with them coming in at all hours and it's just nuts. Does anyone have any incentives (or threats lol) that have worked to keep kids in their beds? I've tried the Santa angle most recently and it's not working. Neither is anything else I've tried. Thoughts?"
I truly wish there was an "easy" answer. Not that it is hard, it is just really an issue of getting the parent(s) to do what needs to be done.
Draw a new line in the sand, the old one has gotten blurry.
Decide what you will and will not accept. Can they come in at all? Saturday morning? Think this through. I don't say this to make you feel guilty. You just need to decide what you are expecting and STICK WITH IT
I, personally, wanted my children to sleep in their own beds. No exceptions. IF I invited them in one night because my husband was out of town, etc, I would make it VERY CLEAR that this was a treat.
BUT
lets get them sleeping in their own beds first
.
First thing in the morning, on a stay-at-home day, sit down with the girls and tell them the new rule. Discuss it with them. Make a chart. Give an incentive. 1 night, a game with mom before bed, 2 nights, a __________ 3 nights___________ a full week a trip to the icecream store etc (Make these rewards small, you don't want to have to be offering Disney World after a week of success!)
Explain that it is not a punishment but will be punishable. Not only will they miss out on a treat but there will be a consequence of ie missing a favorite show, going to bed earlier, whatever
Speak of it ALL DAY LONG. Have them tell you about it. Make sure they are understanding. Make a chart together.
When you tuck them in bed, do so after they have brushed their teeth, washed up and had a little time with you. Reiterate over and over that they are to stay in bed.
Say goodnight, pray and leave the room. I liked to softly play a CD for them to go to sleep with. Expain that if they wake up, they need to just turn over and go back to sleep. If they need to use the bathroom let them know they need to crawl right back in bed after.
Mom and Dad, make up your mind, NO MATTER HOW TIRED YOU ARE, that you are going to see this through.
I hope that this is clear for you. This is a very doable situation.
If you would like to email me your phone # I am more than happy to discuss this with you to help you work it out. It really will not be that long before they are both sleeping soundly and so are you
BTW do they still take naps?
Blessings!
Also make sure their bed is an inviting place to sleep. A bed made with clean sheets, blanket, good pillow, case and favorite teddy are important.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Starting Young
A great quote came to my mind today.
Years ago a couple of my boys went down the road to the "old man's" house to see if he had any "jobs" for them to do.
He told them this saying;
" A boy's a boy. Two boys is half a boy and three boys is no boy at all"
Isn't that a good one! I think that we would all agree that there is some real truth in this saying.
Soooo how about training your children NOW, while they are young. At around 3-4 begin to ask your child to do specific chores. One by one....with very specific boundaries.
"Cary, I would like you to pick up all the clothes in the bathroom and put them in this basket."
"Judy. Please put all the books away."
Now the biggest issue is making sure you are giving a job that CAN be done. One that is not too difficult or vague. What you are trying to do is train the child to do the job TOTALLY.
You must go and check the work. Make sure that they have done it well. Stay with them until they complete it the way it should be done. Later train them with something else. (daily is good)
Parents, this IS training!
You are teaching them work ethics. THIS IS GOOD. It needs to be done. Don't get upset if it is not done correctly. Show and explain to them how to do it. Watch for laziness and the child getting sidetracked. Bring them back to the task. Follow them through to the end.
If you meet irritation, rebellion or laziness, bring correction. Again don't get angry just mean what you say.
Johnny "I don't want to do it"
Mom "It is a job I want you to do now"
etc etc
"Johnny, you will sit on your bed until you are willing to do the job"
FOLLOW thru.
Mom and Dad THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!
Please begin young. If you have not JUST BEGIN. Explain that you have overlooked training and that you are going to begin now. It will not kill them....The upset will not last forever. You must win.
This is YOUR job, not the teachers, neighbors or employers. Teach them work ethics young and by your example.
Blessings!
Years ago a couple of my boys went down the road to the "old man's" house to see if he had any "jobs" for them to do.
He told them this saying;
" A boy's a boy. Two boys is half a boy and three boys is no boy at all"
Isn't that a good one! I think that we would all agree that there is some real truth in this saying.
Soooo how about training your children NOW, while they are young. At around 3-4 begin to ask your child to do specific chores. One by one....with very specific boundaries.
"Cary, I would like you to pick up all the clothes in the bathroom and put them in this basket."
"Judy. Please put all the books away."
Now the biggest issue is making sure you are giving a job that CAN be done. One that is not too difficult or vague. What you are trying to do is train the child to do the job TOTALLY.
You must go and check the work. Make sure that they have done it well. Stay with them until they complete it the way it should be done. Later train them with something else. (daily is good)
Parents, this IS training!
You are teaching them work ethics. THIS IS GOOD. It needs to be done. Don't get upset if it is not done correctly. Show and explain to them how to do it. Watch for laziness and the child getting sidetracked. Bring them back to the task. Follow them through to the end.
If you meet irritation, rebellion or laziness, bring correction. Again don't get angry just mean what you say.
Johnny "I don't want to do it"
Mom "It is a job I want you to do now"
etc etc
"Johnny, you will sit on your bed until you are willing to do the job"
FOLLOW thru.
Mom and Dad THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!
Please begin young. If you have not JUST BEGIN. Explain that you have overlooked training and that you are going to begin now. It will not kill them....The upset will not last forever. You must win.
This is YOUR job, not the teachers, neighbors or employers. Teach them work ethics young and by your example.
Blessings!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The Origins of Thanksgiving with Charlie Brown Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeAtelXK9P4&feature=related
I hope you will have time to watch this second half. I also pray you will teach your children about "fasting"
It is good to "go without", whether you are a Christian or not, as it helps refocus, bring clarity and bring centered thinking. Why do we always think that it is all about us? When you fast a meal or dessert, etc think about the masses around the world that have nothing.
BE THANKFUL!
Blessings!
I hope you will have time to watch this second half. I also pray you will teach your children about "fasting"
It is good to "go without", whether you are a Christian or not, as it helps refocus, bring clarity and bring centered thinking. Why do we always think that it is all about us? When you fast a meal or dessert, etc think about the masses around the world that have nothing.
BE THANKFUL!
Blessings!
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Origins of Thanksgiving with Charlie Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=yRobYUSZ4do
This is the first half and will be followed with the second half tomorrow. This would be good to watch with your children. There are facts that you can go over and will promote conversation. Stretch them with this conversation. Fast some comforts for a day and consider how we live.
Blessings!
This is the first half and will be followed with the second half tomorrow. This would be good to watch with your children. There are facts that you can go over and will promote conversation. Stretch them with this conversation. Fast some comforts for a day and consider how we live.
Blessings!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Talking with the Teen
You are in conversation with a friend. Your daughter Molly comes by and says "Mom, I'm going over to Jason's house to work on that project as soon as we get home."
What do you say?
This is a place that trouble can brew. First of all you are preoccupied. Too often we answer quickly to get back to our conversation. A child can many times find loop holes because we are not on our toes.
You need to be careful not to make the child feel put on the spot ( even though they have put you on one) I had a rule for years that if a child asked me if someone could come over, sleep over, eat over, etc in front of the child it would be an automatic NO. I explained I did not ever want to be put on the spot.
You can always say "Molly we will talk about this on the way home"
"but Mom, I have to know now"
"I gave you my answer"
Remember 16 is NOT 17 or 18. I hear moms often say "Marnie, I need to talk to you....my son,16, almost 17 years old is giving me problems" What I sometimes hear here is..."I'm just waiting for them to turn the magic age so that I can say, " I raised them right, now they are making their own decisions" Don't give up the reins too early parent. Sometimes in the latter teens the reins need to be yanked in a few times as the young adult begins to push the boundary.
A loose version of this happened this morning with me. The mom and I were chatting about teens when her daughter came to talk about a project plan. The mom firmly made the statement that she would like the boy to come to their house for the project. It was clear that the girl was not happy and she asked "why" a couple of times. The mom clearly said "no, I've made up my mind and I don't have to give you a reason now."
We talked later and I found out that the child did not give her mom a hard time on the way home. This is very good. The mom commended her daughter for this, which is good as well.
It's a dance parents. We are always needing to learn new steps and music. It's ok, it goes with the territory. Don't be discouraged, hold your ground. It is easier to let the leash out than it is to pull it back. Try not to make quick decisions that you may later be sorry for.
Want to talk further about this and other teen issues? Have a few gals over and we can round table discuss this. My house or yours just give me a call.
Blessings!
What do you say?
This is a place that trouble can brew. First of all you are preoccupied. Too often we answer quickly to get back to our conversation. A child can many times find loop holes because we are not on our toes.
You need to be careful not to make the child feel put on the spot ( even though they have put you on one) I had a rule for years that if a child asked me if someone could come over, sleep over, eat over, etc in front of the child it would be an automatic NO. I explained I did not ever want to be put on the spot.
You can always say "Molly we will talk about this on the way home"
"but Mom, I have to know now"
"I gave you my answer"
Remember 16 is NOT 17 or 18. I hear moms often say "Marnie, I need to talk to you....my son,16, almost 17 years old is giving me problems" What I sometimes hear here is..."I'm just waiting for them to turn the magic age so that I can say, " I raised them right, now they are making their own decisions" Don't give up the reins too early parent. Sometimes in the latter teens the reins need to be yanked in a few times as the young adult begins to push the boundary.
A loose version of this happened this morning with me. The mom and I were chatting about teens when her daughter came to talk about a project plan. The mom firmly made the statement that she would like the boy to come to their house for the project. It was clear that the girl was not happy and she asked "why" a couple of times. The mom clearly said "no, I've made up my mind and I don't have to give you a reason now."
We talked later and I found out that the child did not give her mom a hard time on the way home. This is very good. The mom commended her daughter for this, which is good as well.
It's a dance parents. We are always needing to learn new steps and music. It's ok, it goes with the territory. Don't be discouraged, hold your ground. It is easier to let the leash out than it is to pull it back. Try not to make quick decisions that you may later be sorry for.
Want to talk further about this and other teen issues? Have a few gals over and we can round table discuss this. My house or yours just give me a call.
Blessings!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
It must STOP!
What am I referring to:
The amount of time what our children are mesmerized by the television, video games and or the computer.
Parents ~ We are losing our children!
They do not even know how to play anymore. Their imaginations have dried up and blown away because of lack of use. If you would suggest they play outside etc you are met with whining, crying, arguing etc etc.
Truly the story is accurate that when my generation were kids we PLAYED. with each other or even by ourselves. We raced, built forts, played ball, even if it were throwing the ball onto the roof and catching it when it rolled back.! How about marbles, jump rope? How is it that those games, Jax for instance, would keep us busy for an afternoon.
SO if you have a couch potato on your hands, if Susie cannot be pried off of her computer and Seth from his hand held games IT'S TIME!
Take control and begin to break the habit now! Pull out the board games, get a story on CD or better yet read to each other. There are some GREAT card games, solitaire, Phase 10, Flinch, Uno, Skipbo etc etc.
I fully realize that "they" will now be "underfoot", but only for a while until they learn how to play again. Please parents help them. Provide them with the things they need. Cards are much cheaper than a video game.
The ball is in YOUR court. What are you going to do? Raising children is full time and active. Get your hands on these kids and see what happens!
Blessings!
The amount of time what our children are mesmerized by the television, video games and or the computer.
Parents ~ We are losing our children!
They do not even know how to play anymore. Their imaginations have dried up and blown away because of lack of use. If you would suggest they play outside etc you are met with whining, crying, arguing etc etc.
Truly the story is accurate that when my generation were kids we PLAYED. with each other or even by ourselves. We raced, built forts, played ball, even if it were throwing the ball onto the roof and catching it when it rolled back.! How about marbles, jump rope? How is it that those games, Jax for instance, would keep us busy for an afternoon.
SO if you have a couch potato on your hands, if Susie cannot be pried off of her computer and Seth from his hand held games IT'S TIME!
Take control and begin to break the habit now! Pull out the board games, get a story on CD or better yet read to each other. There are some GREAT card games, solitaire, Phase 10, Flinch, Uno, Skipbo etc etc.
I fully realize that "they" will now be "underfoot", but only for a while until they learn how to play again. Please parents help them. Provide them with the things they need. Cards are much cheaper than a video game.
The ball is in YOUR court. What are you going to do? Raising children is full time and active. Get your hands on these kids and see what happens!
Blessings!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Thanksgiving
....is a week away. It is not too early to plan it out,
Now if you are fortunate enough to be invited to someone's home, pick up some cranberry sauce and have a great time!
tips: (if you are going with children.)....
1. take extra sets of clothes, diapers, bibs, sippy cups etc. Ask if you need to bring a highchair etc
2 Pack some food if the child is small.
3 Think thru discipline, who will be there, naps etc etc. Have a plan
4 Talk it thru with your spouse so that you are both aware.
5 If your child breaks something be expected to replace the item.
6 Talk to your child/children about what is expected etc so that they are not guessing.
7 When you leave ~ pick up after yourself!
8 Remember your children are YOUR children and you are responsible for them ~ no one else.
If you are hosting this special holiday.
1. Make your guest list and make some calls
2. Make your menu and delegate who will make or bring what
3. Make this delegation clear so that you are not having the 15lbs of potatoes peeled into your sink but that they arrive ready to serve
4. If you have some toys,,,get them out and think it thru.
5. Clean your house the day before with special attention to the bathrooms and kitchen
6 Think thru the table setting...where you are seating everyone, how you will serve the food, what dishes you will use
Perhaps you should start a tradition if you do not have one. We put 2 kernels of corn on everyone's plate and when we sit down we go around the table saying the 2 things that we are thankful for.
(google for some other ideas)
Maybe you can all share a favorite movie with the kids while the men watch the game.
Whatever you do, with a little planning I pray that you will have a WONDERFUL day!
Blessings!
Now if you are fortunate enough to be invited to someone's home, pick up some cranberry sauce and have a great time!
tips: (if you are going with children.)....
1. take extra sets of clothes, diapers, bibs, sippy cups etc. Ask if you need to bring a highchair etc
2 Pack some food if the child is small.
3 Think thru discipline, who will be there, naps etc etc. Have a plan
4 Talk it thru with your spouse so that you are both aware.
5 If your child breaks something be expected to replace the item.
6 Talk to your child/children about what is expected etc so that they are not guessing.
7 When you leave ~ pick up after yourself!
8 Remember your children are YOUR children and you are responsible for them ~ no one else.
If you are hosting this special holiday.
1. Make your guest list and make some calls
2. Make your menu and delegate who will make or bring what
3. Make this delegation clear so that you are not having the 15lbs of potatoes peeled into your sink but that they arrive ready to serve
4. If you have some toys,,,get them out and think it thru.
5. Clean your house the day before with special attention to the bathrooms and kitchen
6 Think thru the table setting...where you are seating everyone, how you will serve the food, what dishes you will use
Perhaps you should start a tradition if you do not have one. We put 2 kernels of corn on everyone's plate and when we sit down we go around the table saying the 2 things that we are thankful for.
(google for some other ideas)
Maybe you can all share a favorite movie with the kids while the men watch the game.
Whatever you do, with a little planning I pray that you will have a WONDERFUL day!
Blessings!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Christmas and the Grandparents~
I chatted with a Great Grandmother and friend today. I write this on behalf of our conversation.
Christmas is around the corner. You are making your lists and checking them twice.
Please when it comes to the older people on your list take a few minutes and consider their needs. Almost 100% of the elderly I have spoken to have said "I don't need anything" I have to agree. Not one more knickknack, blanket or bottle of perfume should be found under their tree.
How about a car detail, Market Basket gift certificate, Gas card, Walmart gift card, restaurant card etc etc. Consider their ages and their "state" Are they still moving around easily? Could they use you to help them in their yard or around the house? Washing windows, vacuuming and change seasonal clothes are all jobs that get to be just TOO BIG.
How about a day when all the kids gather to work on projects? Maybe a few dinners for the freezer?
Think your list thru....Don't just buy anything/everything to just allow you to cross someone else off of your list. Put some thought behind your gift.
It will be much appreciated!
Blessings!
Christmas is around the corner. You are making your lists and checking them twice.
Please when it comes to the older people on your list take a few minutes and consider their needs. Almost 100% of the elderly I have spoken to have said "I don't need anything" I have to agree. Not one more knickknack, blanket or bottle of perfume should be found under their tree.
How about a car detail, Market Basket gift certificate, Gas card, Walmart gift card, restaurant card etc etc. Consider their ages and their "state" Are they still moving around easily? Could they use you to help them in their yard or around the house? Washing windows, vacuuming and change seasonal clothes are all jobs that get to be just TOO BIG.
How about a day when all the kids gather to work on projects? Maybe a few dinners for the freezer?
Think your list thru....Don't just buy anything/everything to just allow you to cross someone else off of your list. Put some thought behind your gift.
It will be much appreciated!
Blessings!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Trouble
Sometimes the actions of our children just "slam" us. They take us by surprise and we lose our breath and are shook to the core. Perhaps your child has stolen, bullied, defaced someones property or done something sexual and right in the middle of "life as usual" you are stopped with the realization that you have a problem on your hands. It takes the wind out of your sail and you hardly know what to do.
First, I want to suggest you to really consider the age of the child. We, as adults, want to believe that no matter how young or old our child is that they MUST KNOW BETTER! We spin because we don't know what to do or where to turn. Be careful of your immediate reaction. Breath and talk with your spouse or trusted friend or counselor. You need to process and you also need to do some digging of your own to see where the breakdown started.
As parents many times our guard can be down and it is only when a situation happens that we are jerked back to reality. Whether it is our child's friends or their computer usage, television or involvement on the bus and at school we must not overlook the situation.
I beg you to follow it through until the end. Don't just go on your way once the dust has settled. Don't crucify your child especially if he/she is younger. Take the time and make the effort to get to the bottom of the issue. Our children go out into the world every day and stuff flies at them from every direction.
I listened to /saw 2 situations just this week. one was from a concerned parent and the other a post on facebook : have you ever hurt so bad over a child that you can't breathe?
Friends it goes with having children. So don't take it out on
each other, the dog or the other children. Just pray and get
to the bottom of the problem. Work it through just as long
as you need to . It is a learning curve for all the parties
concerned. Nothing is new under the sun and this too shall
pass. But before it does let "it"do its work on you and yours
so that wisdom and learning will come and benefit the future
of all the concerned.
First, I want to suggest you to really consider the age of the child. We, as adults, want to believe that no matter how young or old our child is that they MUST KNOW BETTER! We spin because we don't know what to do or where to turn. Be careful of your immediate reaction. Breath and talk with your spouse or trusted friend or counselor. You need to process and you also need to do some digging of your own to see where the breakdown started.
As parents many times our guard can be down and it is only when a situation happens that we are jerked back to reality. Whether it is our child's friends or their computer usage, television or involvement on the bus and at school we must not overlook the situation.
I beg you to follow it through until the end. Don't just go on your way once the dust has settled. Don't crucify your child especially if he/she is younger. Take the time and make the effort to get to the bottom of the issue. Our children go out into the world every day and stuff flies at them from every direction.
I listened to /saw 2 situations just this week. one was from a concerned parent and the other a post on facebook : have you ever hurt so bad over a child that you can't breathe?
Friends it goes with having children. So don't take it out on
each other, the dog or the other children. Just pray and get
to the bottom of the problem. Work it through just as long
as you need to . It is a learning curve for all the parties
concerned. Nothing is new under the sun and this too shall
pass. But before it does let "it"do its work on you and yours
so that wisdom and learning will come and benefit the future
of all the concerned.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
Before this month is over I suggest you go looking around. Check under beds, in closets and outside. I'm sure you will find "them" everywhere! TOYS!
Take a good-- long -- look. Remember all that money you spent last Christmas and birthday? What has become of that investment? Is Johnny taking care of his things? Does Susie even remember or even care that the barbies clothes are gone along with most of the doll's heads as well?
If this is the case in your home...rethink.
Toys are really expensive.
The holidays come and we become a child ourselves for a moment and will do just about anything just to see that first look of surprise when the gift is open.
But then what happens?
What is being played with at the end of the day?
What is broken already?
What has just been pushed aside and will be ignored for the rest of the year?
Let's make a plan. Now I know that there are children who LOVE their Lego's and American Girl Dolls. That is great! I think it is wonderful to add to a collection that is used and loved. BUT all the rest of the stuff that becomes "junk" in a very short time....THINK ABOUT IT!
Don't wait till the last minute ~ get creative! Perhaps karate lessons or horseback or skating or.....
How about a night out on the town with your son and 3 of his friends? How about putting your head together with some of your children's best friend's parents and see what you might come up with. Coupons for pj parties or trips to the zoo or museum.
All I'm saying is: don't waste your hard earned money on 100's of pieces of plastic that are going to be lost, broken and or forgotten in a short period of time. Be Smart! It takes time and thought but it will be worth it!
There is a GREAT email going around about spending our money in OUR country! Think it over ~ What a great idea!
Take a good-- long -- look. Remember all that money you spent last Christmas and birthday? What has become of that investment? Is Johnny taking care of his things? Does Susie even remember or even care that the barbies clothes are gone along with most of the doll's heads as well?
If this is the case in your home...rethink.
Toys are really expensive.
The holidays come and we become a child ourselves for a moment and will do just about anything just to see that first look of surprise when the gift is open.
But then what happens?
What is being played with at the end of the day?
What is broken already?
What has just been pushed aside and will be ignored for the rest of the year?
Let's make a plan. Now I know that there are children who LOVE their Lego's and American Girl Dolls. That is great! I think it is wonderful to add to a collection that is used and loved. BUT all the rest of the stuff that becomes "junk" in a very short time....THINK ABOUT IT!
Don't wait till the last minute ~ get creative! Perhaps karate lessons or horseback or skating or.....
How about a night out on the town with your son and 3 of his friends? How about putting your head together with some of your children's best friend's parents and see what you might come up with. Coupons for pj parties or trips to the zoo or museum.
All I'm saying is: don't waste your hard earned money on 100's of pieces of plastic that are going to be lost, broken and or forgotten in a short period of time. Be Smart! It takes time and thought but it will be worth it!
There is a GREAT email going around about spending our money in OUR country! Think it over ~ What a great idea!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Watch Your Mouth!
Oh be careful little mouth what you say!
Blessings!
Now we can laugh but I caution you to please take a moment to listen and talk to your children. They have thoughts, questions and feelings. Too often we push them aside because we are too busy etc to take the time. Take the time and listen well. Perhaps it would be best to ask a few questions too!
Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandma for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth.
'Well, dear, it's called sexual intercourse.’ Little Tony said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.'
Blessings!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Louder is Not Better!
Why is it? Instead of taking action we just talk louder. Sammy does not come when called and we start to escalate. Get up my friend and tend to business. If you will decide to "pull in the reins" (last weeks blog) you will immediately get up and mean what you say.
Our children are not stupid. That is why they are acting the way that they are! They know that they do not need to come when called, pick up the toys, go brush their teeth etc. They wait until they hear a certain tone of voice and THEN they move.
Well surprise them! Don't give them a second or third chance. When they find themselves on their bed, losing privileges , going to bed early etc, believe me, they will respond quickly.
No need to lose your temper. No need to yell and scream. No need to threaten or throw a tantrum! Just say what you mean and
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!!
You CAN do this!
Our children are not stupid. That is why they are acting the way that they are! They know that they do not need to come when called, pick up the toys, go brush their teeth etc. They wait until they hear a certain tone of voice and THEN they move.
Well surprise them! Don't give them a second or third chance. When they find themselves on their bed, losing privileges , going to bed early etc, believe me, they will respond quickly.
No need to lose your temper. No need to yell and scream. No need to threaten or throw a tantrum! Just say what you mean and
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!!
You CAN do this!
Monday, November 7, 2011
A Word of Thanks
We so often think that parenting is a thankless job.....Yes, that tends to be true until your child has reached parenthood. That is when I began to write thank you notes to my mom on a regular basis.
Mom thank you for always being there
Thank you for providing in every way.
Thank you for being a constant example
Thank you for being fair
Thank you for going the extra mile
Thank you for the boundaries
Thank you for the support
Thank you for never "rubbing my nose in it"
Thank you for ironing my bed on those cold cold nights
Thank you for planning fun
Don't forget Dad either....
There is nothing like a hand written card or note. Start something today and send one. If your parent is alive send a thank you. They may have been far from perfect but I actually think that is beside the point. There has got to be something that you can find to thank them for. You can also write one to your husband, child, teacher etc etc The sky is the limit.
Life is short ~ let people know that you care
Blessings!
Mom thank you for always being there
Thank you for providing in every way.
Thank you for being a constant example
Thank you for being fair
Thank you for going the extra mile
Thank you for the boundaries
Thank you for the support
Thank you for never "rubbing my nose in it"
Thank you for ironing my bed on those cold cold nights
Thank you for planning fun
Don't forget Dad either....
There is nothing like a hand written card or note. Start something today and send one. If your parent is alive send a thank you. They may have been far from perfect but I actually think that is beside the point. There has got to be something that you can find to thank them for. You can also write one to your husband, child, teacher etc etc The sky is the limit.
Life is short ~ let people know that you care
Blessings!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Pulling in the Reins
Have things gotten a tad out of control?
Are the "boundary lines" blurred?
Have your "rules" been stretched?
Let's pull in the reins today!
Remember....you hold them!
You guide the working of your home and family and all that that entails.
I know that that is a scary thought, but it does not need to be. If you are overwhelmed talk to someone for some guidance. Get some help. Don't continue on the downward spiral because you are embarrassed or buried. I am more than happy to help guide you back to your focus by talking it out and setting up a plan. You will feel so much better and before you know it things will begin to "fall into place!
Do yourself a favor today and pull in the reins!
Are the "boundary lines" blurred?
Have your "rules" been stretched?
Let's pull in the reins today!
Remember....you hold them!
You guide the working of your home and family and all that that entails.
I know that that is a scary thought, but it does not need to be. If you are overwhelmed talk to someone for some guidance. Get some help. Don't continue on the downward spiral because you are embarrassed or buried. I am more than happy to help guide you back to your focus by talking it out and setting up a plan. You will feel so much better and before you know it things will begin to "fall into place!
Do yourself a favor today and pull in the reins!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Friends~!
I just finished tonite's blog only to lose it to cyber space !!
It's past midnight and I just can't make another one happen tonite.
Have a great day today!
Love on your family!
Take time to breath in and see all that you have
Tweak your perspective
and remember
Love covers a multitude of sin!
It's past midnight and I just can't make another one happen tonite.
Have a great day today!
Love on your family!
Take time to breath in and see all that you have
Tweak your perspective
and remember
Love covers a multitude of sin!
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