The Holly Bibble

A little boy  asked his mom the other day, "mom do you know what the Holly Bibble is?  You know ~  they put them in hotel rooms"

Needless to say this family was not acquainted with the "Good Book" 

How about your family?   
Children are never too young to know, read and learn from the Bible.  Someone said that it stands for 
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.   
Cute huh?  Yes and oh so true!

Maybe you have a family Bible that you can dust off and gather the family around.  If not how about buying one .  There are many story book Bibles for all ages.   If you yourself are not acquainted with the Good Book why not get one and read if for yourself!   

You will never be the same!  

Blessings!

The Waltons

My mom has been enjoying the Hallmark channel.  Today I caught a bit of the Waltons.   I was AMAZED at the bold truths, clear wisdom and many life lessons that were packed into that one hour show!!!   From "talking back" to the influence of other kids and giving a good example of a couple "fighting" with respect.
Admittedly I'm not much of a tv person these days but feel quite certain that you will not find ANY show that has anything even close to this one mentioned.


While making dinner I saw a part of Family Feud.   EVERY question had a lewd connotation to it and the answers on the board listed many things with sexual overtones.  


One might ask "when did this happen"?   How did we get from there to here?


My friend ~  slowly.  It did not happen overnight.  Do you remember the first time that you swore for instance?  You may have ducked waiting for the wrath of God....soon it was easier and then it was not even a thought as your words tumbled out
This song by Casting Crowns is a favorite    Listen again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QASREBVDsLk


We will stand before the Lord with no excuse as He has given us everything we need.


Think about it


Blessings!

Wanted: Parents

YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU 

They need your presence, your ear, your affection, your time, your wisdom, your watch-care, your discipline, your guidance, your boundaries, your yes' and your no's


They need your cooking, your special touch, your signature in their lives.

NO ONE can replace YOU!

I fully realize in this world that we live in that there are many things that tug and war for our attention.  

It has always been and always will be.

 But 

NO  ONE can bring up children like their own parents.

Folks,  it just goes too quickly.  You will never be able to repeat these days.  You will never be allowed to "do them over"  

Sit down and think it through.  

Talk it over with your spouse.  

Figure it out.   

Do what it takes.  

Sacrifice is necessary in the bringing up of children ~

strong, moral, focused  children.

There are so many things that work against the family today.  Even right in our living rooms the TV, the movies, the games etc etc can zone us out of life and desensitize us to reality.
The school yard, the clubs and the neighborhood all hold so many unknowns and unpredictable situations.  Home needs to be the fortress,  the safe place, the place where Mom and Dad are.  Where the rules stay the same and life has boundaries.

Please~ take this to heart.   

There will be a day when you will be alone and can earn more money.  

God will provide in the mean time. 

Your time is not wasted.  

You are not invisible.  

You are the Main Stay.  

There is no one like you.  

Do It

and 

Do It Well

Blessings!

Creativity

I received this in an email and liked it.   It spurred me on to thinking how parents can pray for creativity in the raising of their children.  I still practice that frequently.  I pray you are all doing well and would LOVE to get some questions on my desk!
Blessings
Marnie




We don't know who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service. 


Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words: 

Dear God, 
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her. 
Love, Meredith 

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note: 

Dear Meredith, 
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away. 
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by. 
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.  I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I'm easy to find. I am wherever there is love.

Love, God 
 

Power of a Mom

http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/

This blog by April Perry is a MUST read.  It says it all and I agree wholeheartedly!
Thank you April for sharing your convictions!d

Blessings!

A Smile

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.
The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.
That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.
The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight.
The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he askedher, Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?' She replied, 'You won't believe this,' and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, 'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.' She told the pastor, 'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.'
Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor. 
Anyone can count the seeds in an apple; but only God can count the apples in a seed.

GIVE ME A SENSE OF HUMOR, LORD
GIVE ME THE GRACE TO SEE A JOKE
TO GET SOME HUMOR OUT OF LIFE
AND PASS IT ON TO OTHER FOLKS
AMEN !

Long but Worth the Read

A few weeks ago I wrote on "Attitude"   A reader wrote back to share some of  what she had been learning in the "parenting realm"   I am going to send it along, with permission, because it is very sound and I believe you will find it helpful.  Read it and then read it again


Blessings!   Please send any feedback ~

In regards to this subject, I'd like to share something that has been such a breakthrough for me with my now 7 year old.

 

About 3 years ago I started out on this amazing journey where God taught me so many wonderful things through different people, books ("Loving your kids on purpose" by Danny Silk - highly recommended!) and talking directly to me as I sought his face.

 

My strong headed then 4 year old would get frustrated, show an ugly attitude, and constantly test her limits. I tried everything, from talking for hours, to losing favorite privileges, to spankings, you name it, I did it, consistently... (my husband and I were on the same page and he is very involved in teaching and disciplining our children). After about a year of frustration, where nothing seemed to work, the Lord showed me (several times in a short period of time, just like He does when He really wants to get my attention), that I was focusing on correcting behavior only, instead of focusing on understanding the root of the bad behavior and fixing it. It took time, patience, and lavishing love, to get my little sweetheart to open up her heart to me and let me know what was causing her to react that way. It turns out she was mad at me, she felt disconnected. It took a while for me to realize this, but the Lord showed me that I had to reassure her of my love for her, not only with my words but more importantly with my actions during difficult times. I'm Ecuadorian, our Latin blood makes us very affectionate. There's never been a shortage of hugs, kisses, cuddling, loving, chatting, but somehow my level of stress and frustration while disciplining her were speaking louder than my love for her. The Lord coached me through this process of healing her little heart and reconnecting. These are some of the things that we implemented in our home, if you don't mind me sharing:

• First of all, there continued to be consequences for every action and we made that clear. We always tell them to THINK in spite of their disappointment, anger, frustration, and make the right choices. "Good choices, good consequences; bad choices, bad consequences" is a phrase that you'd hear daily in our home.
• We prayed for wisdom and patience and lavished her with love, even more so when she got frustrated. We would show empathy ("Sorry you're feeling frustrated, there's no need to stump your feet. Come here, what's going on?"), encourage her to talk about it, to say (respectfully) why she was frustrated, and we would walk her through her emotions. It wasn't easy, it was time consuming, it was exhausting, sometimes it looked like it would never work, but the mix of lavishing love and consistency in consequences made it possible!
• We really try hard not to raise our voices, but treat situations in a business like manner: Not taking it personally, just following through without getting our emotions involved (easier said than done, but we try...). And when we loose our temper, we apologize for it, and coach them in recognizing what they did and how they should apologize as well. We always finish every 'session' with a hug and kiss.
• I picked a few reassuring phrases and repeated them to her constantly throughout the day, sometimes without an apparent reason:
  * I would come up behind her when she wasn't expecting it, and I'd sweep her up in my arms or tickle her and then hold her, look at her in the eyes, and say: "I ALWAYS love you! I love you when you are happy, I love you when you are sad, I love you when you are obedient, I love you when you are disobedient, I love you when you are excited, I love you when you are mad. I will ALWAYS love you!" I made sure she understood that my love for her does not diminish no matter what she does. BUT that there are consequences for her actions, like in real life.  I'd repeat this phrase to her when cooking, when doing laundry, when playing, several times a day.
  * When she'd say: I'm moving out! (that was one of her big things), I'd say, with a smile on my face: "Oh baby! I can't let you do that! We're family, and families stick together through the happy and rough times! We could never let you go!" And tried to keep and upbeat loving but firm attitude. If she started to get disrespectful I'd remind her about thinking her actions, and about the good choice/bad choice concept, and I'd follow through.
  * I'd make it a point to give her undivided one on one attention for 5 or 10 min. a day. It worked wonders.
  * I'd cheer her up and celebrate with her with every little one of her victories! Not only with words, but lavishing her with physical affection.  There's something special about making a child laugh. Tickling our kids is a daily bonding affair in our home.

My girl now is a different person.  Obedient, respectful, thoughtful.  It usually takes only a short conversation or talk to have her come back to a good place and make the right choices, and if not, the consequences are still applied. 

 

I'm SO THANKFUL that our Father loves us unconditionally!, and that's the kind of love that we want to show our kids. When our kids feel loved unconditionally, it's easier for them to trust our judgment and listen to what we have to say. We could always force it out on them, but that will only go so far with this generation of independent thinking minds.  When the matters of the heart are addressed, the behavior changes. A good balance of unconditional love, respect in spite of their little size and young mind, and consistent consequences (both good and bad), will really make a difference in their lives. Addressing the heart, is the goal in our home discipline. We are still on this road of discovery and learning, and I can't wait to see where God leads us!

 

Just a Smile or Two

 Children in Church

       A little boy was attending his first wedding.
    After the service, his cousin asked him,
    "How many women can a man marry?"
    "Sixteen," the boy responded.
    His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
   "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said.
    "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said,
    4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."



                  After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
  "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
  "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, And I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

 A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."


 A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"


Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.
She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four 
people on an airplane, So she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The Flight to Egypt ," was his reply. Pointing at each figure,Ms. Terri said,
"That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.
But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"

The Sunday School Teacher asks,
"Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No ma'am," little Johnny replies, I don't have to.
My mom is a gooood cook."

                  


A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking 
her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
 "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"


                  


               

Attitude

A young mother writes:
I have been struggling with an issue with my 9 year old.   It seems that whenever something doesn't go her way, whether I don't give her an answer she wants, if she hurts herself, or she drops something (anything inconvenient really..) she gets really frustrated and starts stomping her feet, or slamming things, and it's very obvious by her facial expressions and grunting noises that she is frustrated. I don't understand why she seems to have pent up anger and I have no idea how to teach her to control these emotions. Honestly when she gets like that (which is many times a day) I get frustrated at her. I don't know what to do and it's been going on for a few weeks. She doesn't seem to be having any problems with friends at school. Do you have any suggestions? I have no idea what to do and what I have done doesn't work. 


I have actually spoken about this method of discipline a number of times.  It works in many different types of situations.
This young lady needs to be sat down and spoken to.   Take her out for dinner, for a drive or just something out of the ordinary.  You want to "get her attention" when the problem is not happening.


Let me paint a scenario.
In the morning before school.  "Judy, when you get home today we are going to go out for an ice cream".  (taking the child off guard)
"why mom? "  
"Just cause I would like to treat you".


After school the time comes to go.  You sit down with your ice cream and chat a little about the day.
Eventually  you say, " I have to apologize for something.  ( again out of the ordinary and peaks the child's interest)
"I have been noticing over the last couple of weeks that you have been having a hard time controlling your anger.  You stomp, pout etc etc".  
Give a few present examples.
"Judy I want to apologize because I have let you get away with this behavior.  I hoped that it would go away but I can see it is only happening more.   I'm sorry that I have let it go on so long.  I stand before the Lord in my discipline of you and presently it has not been a pretty picture and I have been "allowing" it.


Will you forgive me?


I have never heard the child say no.


I just want you to know that this behavior is going to end.  I am not going to stand for it any longer.  You are much too old to be handling your frustration in this manner.  You are no longer a toddler.  You are growing up.  I don't think you act this way at school or anywhere other than at home...am I correct?


Then talk about some options on how to handle frustration etc.  
1.Go to your room.  
2.Take a little walk


Talk to her about how it looks when you get frustrated at work etc..what do you do?   Paint good examples...let her share as well and give her ideas.  
Pray with her 


Then talk about the consequences that are going to be put in place for not handling it correctly .  
1. Being sent to her room,  
2. Going to bed early,  
3. having another privilege taken away. etc.


The next part is the MOST IMPORTANT.

You MUST FOLLOW THRU ~  EVERYTIME!!!!

If you want to chat more about this email me!
Blessings!

Hopeless

‎"A person's hope is deadened when nothing she does is

 good enough, or when all her choices, no matter what they

 are, are used to punish her." - dan allender 




I read this on facebook today.  It made me feel sad even reading it.


Do you realize how easy this is to do to a child (or anyone for that matter)?


I honestly don't feel like I need to write any more.  


I ask you to read this statement a number of times and see if it applies to you  and or your situation at all   


and if so 


GET HELP


Blessings!

Only a Click A Way

Recently I was in conversation with a young woman who's child googled something quite innocent only to be pulled into the dark recesses of the black hole and hideous sphere of the Internet.  The child is far from a teenager.
Parent please don't wait to put a safe guard on your computers.  If your child is using them for any amount at all the temptation is TOO GREAT and the availability of pornography etc is just a click away.


We cannot be ignorant any longer!


The money you spend on this safe guard is much cheaper than years of counsel and family strife.
Please make sure that your child is in your sight when on the computer and check the history of the computer often.  Stay alert and be intentional and ask questions.




Pure eyes:
http://www.puresight.com/child-internet-safety2.html?gclid=CMa_mLqwva4CFYio4Aodmk4HuA


Action Alert
http://www.actionalert.com/landing4?rkg_id=c-318740790_h-e64de79e4932edf98e73952c49c40f81_t-1330319145&gclid=CJeF9YCxva4CFULe4


Family Life Today recommends:
http://www.familylife.com/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=dnJHKLNnFoG&b=6580043&ct=11231607


Focus on the Family
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/protecting_your_family/preparing_your_child_for_the_online_world.aspx
and
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/topicinfo/Internet_Safety_-_Building_Character_and_Building_Walls.pdf


Safe Eyes
http://www.internetsafety.com/press-internet-safety-solution-safe-eyes.php


Blessings on you and yours!

Reinforce Your Marriage

This message contains graphics. If you do not see the graphics, click here to view.
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How to Avoid 11 "Great Marriage Killers"

Dr. Dobson's latest newsletter is now available online at drjamesdobson.org!

Earlier this month we enjoyed Valentine's Day, a day set aside for the celebration of romantic love. We hope you and your spouse relished this opportunity to affirm your undying affection and commitment. In his letter this month, Dr. Dobson flips the coin over and shares insight and great advice on how to avoid the "Great Marriage Killers."

We encourage you to spend a few moments to learn how to protect your sacred relationship from:

- Over-commitment and physical exhaustion.
- Excessive credit and conflict over how money will be spent.
- Selfishness.
- And more!

Simply click here to read and download this entire message.
 http://links.myfamilytalk.mkt4124.com/ctt?kn=5&ms=Mzc3NjIzMAS2&r=Mjc5MjI2MDY3NQS2&b=2&j=Mzg2MzEwMjYS1&mt=1&rt=0

5 Love Languages of Children

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/popups/media_player.aspx?LatestDaily=1

Please listen to this half hour long Focus on the Family broadcast and see what you can glean!

Blessings on your MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD!

Blessings!

10 ways to love your kids

I thought that this article sent by a friend was worth passing along
Blessings!


David Philobes is located in Phoenix.  Originally from Egypt, he is pastoring an Arabic
Christian Church.

1) Eagerly, humbly submit to the Word of God.

 When you sin in front of your children, confess it. When you assert your authority over them, your children should clearly see the authority that you are submitting to. Your submission to God is your qualification to teach them. Let them see it, and they will know that you aren’t a petty tyrant.

2) Don’t pigeonhole your children.

Seemingly harmless things like calling your children “the artistic one,” “the athletic one,” or “the loving one” can make your children feel like their value to you is tied up in one characteristic. It can further invite sibling rivalry and resentments. Moreover, sets you up to stop trying to learn about them, as you begin to interpret everything through that expectation and sets them up to think that that's the only part of them you appreciate.

3) Discipline biblically.

When you discipline, make sure it has a biblical category. A godly parent can't discipline for “being annoying,” “making a mess,” or “squirming.” Instead, look to correct disobeying, lying, or something that you can support with Scripture, Proverbs and Ephesians in particular. If there isn’t a biblical principle and name behind it, don’t discipline for it.

4) Set clear expectations.

Explain to your children in advance what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. Make sure they understand. This will greatly aid you in #3, as well as giving them the security of knowing what you want.

5) Recognize obedience.

Talk to your children when you aren’t correcting them. Talk about the things they do right. Tell them about specific things that you love about them. Let them know that you know them, that you think of them, and that you enjoy them.

6) Listen to the whole story first.

With little kids you actually might have to take some time to get the story out. Don’t try to hustle past your children in an effort to quickly discipline them. The discipline is for their benefit, not yours. Make sure that they understand and that they know you are interacting with them.

7) Honor your spouse in front of them.

Show love to each other in front of your children. Don't be short, snarky, or snide with each other in their presence (or out of it for that matter). Children need to see Mom and Dad as one. Parents in fellowship with each other is one of the most basic elements for a secure home.

8) Don’t change your behavior toward your children in public.

Don’t correct them for things just because someone is watching. Security for a child means knowing that their parent is for them, and that when one of them corrects the child, it is for his or her benefit, and not so that others will think the parents have it all together.

9) Don’t take your children’s sins as a personal insult.

Never discipline with a break in fellowship. Don’t be “mad” at your children. Be anxious to have things reconciled.

10) Forgive. For real.

If breaking the window has been forgiven, act like it. Forget it. Do not hold past incidents over your children, especially if you've told them you've forgiven them. Let it go all the way, every time, “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12).

I Hate to be the Mean Parent

Oh well~


If you are doing it right you will be ~ OFTEN.  It's just part of the job. 
The fact is you know you are NOT being mean.  Your children have the perception of a child and their understanding is that of immaturity.


I hear single moms say this often ~   They feel like everything is PARADISE for their children at the other parent's home.  Lets think about that....do you really think so?   Children don't tend to change that much between houses.  So just know that it is not always as it "seems"


Anyway, it has nothing to do with that.  
The TOTAL reason you discipline your children is so that they will become high functioning, responsible human beings.   We want them to listen, know how to follow directions, come when called, learn how to complete a task, get along with each other, have manners, take care of their possessions, and the list could go on and on.


The only way to get them from A to Z is to mean business. Mean what you say and say what you mean.  Sometimes the consequence is more than just a time out.  Sometimes it has to be corporal.  But the earlier you start the easier it will be.  Remember my post of "nip it in the bud"  I encourage you to look it up. 


So Mom and/or Dad ~   take a deep breath and choose to day to be your "child's best friend" by being the parent who makes the hard decisions, the one who follows through,  the one who has to miss things themselves because a child is serving an early bedtime.  It will not last forever and there will be a day that you will be glad that you followed through and your children will "rise up and call you blessed!"


Blessings!

I caught just a few minutes of Dr. Phil the other night as I was cooking.  It was a continuation of a dramatic saga  of the "Dr Phil family" that is shown off and on over the past years.  The young girl (now in her 20's and in a rehab)  said of her Dad, "I just want him to tell me No"


Did you hear that parents?


Your children WANT you to tell them NO!


They cannot always do it themselves.
They are pulled and pushed, prodded and manipulated by their peers, school mates, television, music etc etc etc.
They are often too weak and or confused to make the right decision.   We all know that from about 11 up they are just a MESS!!


Let's help them out!
 Say No when you have to ~  Protect them ~ Let them know that you love them and will stop them when you have to.   You are not here to be their friend ~  You are their PARENT.  Make a difference in their life.  They will thank you later


Blessings

Valentines Day ~

Do something special for the kids today.


You may be going out to dinner with your husband but spread a little love to the children as well.
Make some heart place mats out of construction paper
Heart shaped food, hamburger, bread , cookies
Buy some sweet tart hearts and share them while watching a movie
Have the kids write a love note to grandparents or neighbor or an elderly person.
Make a special dessert
If this  is too short notice  do it the next day ~ it is never too late.
Spread the love and it will come back to you!
Blessings!

Reins

As the worn out mom shared with me this morning, I kept getting the same thought.  "It is time to buy a set of  reins, make them shorter please "

Her son and daughter have been allowed to "swim out too deep", run too fast, have too much freedom and things have gone amuck.   

The children have responded with  ignoring their mom, sarcasm, criticism and all round disrespect.  Arguing and fighting have become the norm.  Rolling of the eyes with hand signs and body language yell the message that they are saying.  

She does not even want to go home.

Time to rein them in.    Sound scary?  Maybe ...but you CAN DO IT and you must!  If you think it is hard now I promise you it will only get worse as you are caught in a spiral.

I have a lot of thought and counsel on this matter ~ If you would like to talk email me for a date!

Blessings!

Dehydration

A conversation that I had with a friend last night has prompted this reminder.


Her son had an intestinal thing going on and  he was looking emaciated.  This was a great concern for her.  Here are her words of what happened:  


 Even though he was sleeping i went to pray over him and this time putting my hands on 


him the sandpaper texture of his skin seemed " so loud" to me that I  was surprised I didn't 


notice it earlier.   I checked his mouth and it was dry. Thinking back thru the day, even


 though we were giving him drinks, he had only peed once all day. So I called the Dr. and he


 needed 2 bags of IV fluids! He still looks all bones but his face isn't sunk in looking and he


 is  acting MUCH better!




 Another story: last year when my mom was was settling down to play a game of scrabble with a friend, he came and got me 20 minutes into the game.  She was just sitting there.  Not talking just looking at her letters.   I asked her a few questions and she was in a "complete zone".  We took her to the emergency room where she was diagnosed having a UTI and being very dehydrated.   She ALWAYS carries around a drink with her so we did not notice.  As soon as a bag of fluids were in her she was back to normal.


The Doctor said that dehydration is very common in young children and the elderly.  SO  let's not forget this!  During this season of colds and stomach bugs  remember to have juices, water, pops etc etc available for the invalid  to eat...even jello.


Better safe than sorry. 


Blessings!

Taking Advantage of Grace (A Home With Out Walls)

A young mom posed a question to me today.
A number of things had changed in this young family over the past couple of months, a move, a new baby and all that that entails to name a few.  One of the little ones is having a problem at bedtime.  Grace has been offered numerous times. The parents felt the changes were the source of the issue and he also has been battling a cold.   
But now "it" is starting to look and sound different.  There seems to be some subtle anger and resistance involved.  Instead of "mommy fix my blanket"..it has turned into "NO not that way" with some kicking and whining.


I have written before (I thought) about creating a "Home without Walls".  What I mean by this is we really want to train our children to obey and feel secure no matter what our family situation is at the time.  New baby, move, sickness, company etc.  we need to work past the excuses and train our children that our "systems" are the way it is going to be.  When it is nap time it is wonderful if the child can settle down no matter where you are ~ Nanny's bed, beside mom on the couch or in the car seat.    I think that this is brought about by consistency which leads to security.   


I suggested to this mom that she again begin to talk about this during the day.  Have a one on one. and then repeat it as the day goes on and for a couple of days.


"Eli, you have been waking up too many times in the night.  There is no need for this anymore.  You have your sippy cup on the night stand and know how to go to the bathroom on your own.  You have your blanket and teddy and have been tucked in and prayed for.  That is all you need and from now on I am expecting that if  you wake up you will roll over and go back to sleep.   IF you wake the other children there is going to be a consequence (name it) that you are not going to want to face.  Do you understand me?"  


Answer any questions or concerns  that he might have and continue to bring it up off and on thru out the next couple of days..  
Stick to what you have said..... be consistent immediately.   Do not let your guard down.  
I know that it all looks different in the wee hours of the morning when you are exhausted.  But it is here that many times the problems are developed as we are willing to do or say almost anything to just go back to bed.  This prolongs the situation.


I hope that this has been clear and that you will find some rest for your weary body


Blessings!

Milk

"Milk"  


 The young lad said as he watched TV while waiting  for the bus.  My friend watched her sister stop preparing the lunch box, go pour milk, insert and bend a straw and place it at the boy's mouth.  He took a sip and she silently went back to her task.  In a few minutes the whole scenario was repeated, again with no words and the mom simply complying with the request.  The sister finally asked "WHAT are you doing?" to be told, "I'm getting him a drink!"  


As she painted the picture back to the mother, the mom's eyes widened as she realized she had  not even thought  twice about what had been going on.


Actually many things were going on here.


1.  The 7-8 year old child had not learned how to get his own drink
2.  He did not know how to talk to or respect his mom
3.  The mom was oblivious that there was a problem
4.  She had become his slave without even realizing the situation.


Too many times we realize that there is a problem when it is close to too late
We seem, all of a sudden, to see a child/teenager who is fresh, disrespectful and unable to do anything for himself.  And way too often this comes as a SURPRISE!  


Wake up mom and dad!   Your children are yours to train.  You must not doze off yet.  There is still work to be done!


Teach your child to care for himself.  Remember you have 18 years to work yourself out of a job!  Your child needs to be taught manners, work ethics, respect etc.  and you are the one to do it!


Again if you feel things have gone on for too long ask a friend to come along side to help you and work on getting  those kids into shape!


We will all love you for it!


Blessings!

Frozen Treats

When I was growing up we "tapped" the maple trees on our farm and boiled the sap down to make maple syrup.  Yum!  Nothing like it!

Sometimes when it would be snowing out, we would gather some "clean" snow and pack it in to a pan.  My mom would boil some syrup until it was "hard crack stage" 
( if you do not have a thermometer, boil the syrup continually. Keeping a bowl of cold water near by drop a drop or two of syrup into the water and see what it does.  First it will be what's called soft ball, boil a little longer and it will become harder and harder.  When the syrup reaches  the correct hardness    pour it in streams onto the packed snow .


The kids will love sucking on these ribbons of  maple flavor!
This can be done with imitation syrup as well.

Have fun!

The Big Black Box

A reader writes:
 I wanted to ask you about the television.  OK, so I know to limit the television at all costs. I also know the recommendations of the professionals (no TV before age 2 and then after limit to 1-2 hrs.) However, I find there are a couple times during the day, that I don't know what else to do. First thing in the morning, when we are still waking up (7-8am) and usually after nap time, when she is still fussing from waking up, wants cuddle time, and we need a quiet thing to do to not wake up the others. So I can hear myself and think..well reading. And we do that ALOT. I guess these are the times when I'm tired too and just need that quiet/nothing activity. This sounds selfish. But the reality of life is that these times happen. What do you think? 


Thanks for the question! 


Remembering those days I used to love the times that Sesame Street would come on.  Like you we had a scheduled time of TV.  It seemed like during the winter it was on a little more and in the summer much less especially as the children grew and could play outdoors.


My word on the whole subject is just be careful. 
 I know many people who have the TV on all day just for the noise.  Personally because I rarely watch anything anymore that is just what it is to me  NOISE!!
There are some great learning videos for babies and toddlers.  Ask around, google and check out the library.  These really can aid in their learning.   I honestly think that the issue here is unsupervised TV where the child is just "Vegging" in front of the screen doing nothing   NO.... use the TV for your own purposes..don't let it take control of your family.


Hope that this helps
Blessings

What I Love

Tonite one of my daughter's called me about some parenting/family stuff.  She knew that she needed help and wanted to talk some things through.


You know what I LOVE?    That ...Just that.


Parents ~   Don't ever think that you are putting someone out, going to look stupid, taking up some one's time etc, when you have a problem or issue that you want to discuss.
   
You are brilliant to ask someone who may know!


Please ask.... we have things to share.  We've made all the mistakes and prayerfully have learned some things that we can pass on.  
Why reinvent the wheel?  
Just because we are in the 21st century does not mean that the foundational truths and wisdom of parenting and family life have changed.  


THEY HAVEN'T!   


Ask away~


Blessings!

Mom ~ I Don't Feel Well

Our poor babies.  


My youngest baby texted me from Missouri tonite saying that she was "under" the weather.  The text went like this...


Me    How are you feeling?


She   not so good at all :(


Me  Symptoms?


She cough  tight lungs head ache and runny nose


Me   Do you have any $


She  A little...why


Me    Ibuprofen for the headache, Neti Pot for the sinus,  Delsym for the cough   Lots of water and Lots of  rest                                                


I then prayed with her and she turned out the light.


Its not fun being sick.  When my child would wake up and say he/she could not go to school I could pretty much know whether he/she were faking or not.   When a child is sick they should be in bed .  They need their rest.  Be careful that you are not allowing them to have a "fun" time when they are at home.  


Please don't take them out in public.  No one needs the germs.  Keep them quiet and hydrated.  Make them as comfortable  as you can.  Bring them warm drinks and light snacks.   Let them listen to something on tape or CD    Read a book to them.  


Consider a daily vitamin and vitamin C.  Make sure they are eating well rounded meals and getting the fruit and vegetables that they need. ( and I don't meant the potato in potato chips)  The health of our children is important and it is us who need to be aware of it.


Disinfect the house .  Open the windows if you can.  Spray Lysol.  Wipe down areas where they were.  Change their beds.( in the midst of their cold I would change their pillowcase everyday)  
During these cold days our kids are cooped up in classrooms with a bunch of other kids and the stuff that flies around would make us cringe if we could see it with our naked eye!


OK  Florence....be sure to take care of yourself as well
Blessings!


Florence Nightingail 

Sexual Exploitation of Children

Please view this short video and take a moment for contemplation.  Again I echo yesterdays blog.  
We cannot be too aware.  
Know what your children are watching, listening to, where they are going, who they are hanging out with and what they are doing.  


Talk to them.....no I did not say yell, accuse, ignore,  I said talk.  Work on your relationship.  


Again if these words are foreign to you, please seek help from someone you can trust.


The only wrong thing is to stay ignorant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOF28tCodcY


Blessings!