Taking Advantage of Grace (A Home With Out Walls)

A young mom posed a question to me today.
A number of things had changed in this young family over the past couple of months, a move, a new baby and all that that entails to name a few.  One of the little ones is having a problem at bedtime.  Grace has been offered numerous times. The parents felt the changes were the source of the issue and he also has been battling a cold.   
But now "it" is starting to look and sound different.  There seems to be some subtle anger and resistance involved.  Instead of "mommy fix my blanket"..it has turned into "NO not that way" with some kicking and whining.


I have written before (I thought) about creating a "Home without Walls".  What I mean by this is we really want to train our children to obey and feel secure no matter what our family situation is at the time.  New baby, move, sickness, company etc.  we need to work past the excuses and train our children that our "systems" are the way it is going to be.  When it is nap time it is wonderful if the child can settle down no matter where you are ~ Nanny's bed, beside mom on the couch or in the car seat.    I think that this is brought about by consistency which leads to security.   


I suggested to this mom that she again begin to talk about this during the day.  Have a one on one. and then repeat it as the day goes on and for a couple of days.


"Eli, you have been waking up too many times in the night.  There is no need for this anymore.  You have your sippy cup on the night stand and know how to go to the bathroom on your own.  You have your blanket and teddy and have been tucked in and prayed for.  That is all you need and from now on I am expecting that if  you wake up you will roll over and go back to sleep.   IF you wake the other children there is going to be a consequence (name it) that you are not going to want to face.  Do you understand me?"  


Answer any questions or concerns  that he might have and continue to bring it up off and on thru out the next couple of days..  
Stick to what you have said..... be consistent immediately.   Do not let your guard down.  
I know that it all looks different in the wee hours of the morning when you are exhausted.  But it is here that many times the problems are developed as we are willing to do or say almost anything to just go back to bed.  This prolongs the situation.


I hope that this has been clear and that you will find some rest for your weary body


Blessings!