The Barber Chair

or the Dentist chair or the Eye Dr etc etc.


Becky will NOT let the dentist look in her mouth.  Eric will NOT allow the barber to cut his hair.  If mom and or dad push the situation ~ war breaks out!


What to do?


You have scheduled the appointment and now you start talking about it.  You talk all day long, constantly bringing it up so that the child will not be taken by surprise.  If by chance you should decide to pop into the salon, spur of the moment, you take the child, look them square in the face and tell them what is going to happen and what you expect.  Keep the dialog going until you reach a submissive spirit.  If you don't there will have to be an immediate consequence.


I can hear you..."You have no idea what you are talking about.  I will not subject myself  or the other patrons to that "


This is just another place that the child needs to know that you are the boss and that he/she needs to obey. Period.  The first and the second time may be a little rough but it will get better.  You will need to set up situations where you can continue to work on the behavior over a short amount of time.  


Just like potty training, make up your mind to tackle this.  It will not likely be as difficult  as it looks.


"Susie tomorrow we are going to get your hair cut"
"NO MOM!  (crying)  I wont go!  You cant make me etc!"
"Come over here" (as you get on her level, holding her body, you look right into her eyes and say) " Susie,  we ARE going to the salon.  It does not hurt to get your hair cut.  I cut mine all the time.  You are going to get in the chair and the lady is going to put an apron on you and the wash your hair.  None of this will hurt or even get in your eyes, then she is going to trim your hair.  I bet when you are done you will LOVE it!"
Do you understand?  Tell me what I just said"
This may take a bit of dialog that is why it is best to plan it in advance.


Now IF you get there and Susie starts to stiffen up and  be stubborn  you will remove her from the chair and take you where you are alone ( perhaps you could let the salon know ahead of time that you are going to be dealing with this issue)  YOU DO NOT need to be embarrassed !  You are in the midst of parenting!  Our embarrassment should only come when you children have simply run amok because we have not done our jobs.
Again you will get close to her face and sounding very firm you will say "I want you to stop the way you are acting, We are going to go back to the chair and you are going to finish"    If it STILL a problem you will either try one more time or quickly take her home.  You will be firm and quiet.  You will take her immediately into her room on her bed and say " I am disappointed in your behavior.  You are going to sit here until you are ready to do as I ask"    
Expect an apology to you and the barber and just keep talking about it until the next appointment  I fully realize that this is never convenient.  BUT again it will get better and easier.  The younger the children are when they realize that you mean what you say and follow through the less situations you will have to deal with in the future.


These behaviors are not always easy to "write" about as there are so many scenarios etc that   the blog would turn into a book.   I, again, am more than happy to dialog with you about any of these issues.  I personally am not opposed to a paddle on the bottom during times of out-right disobedience.  Always discipline in private and having your emotions under control or wait until you can.


As always, Blessings on you and yours!