Thursday, December 1, 2011

Take a Good Long Look ~ and Change

As with the Worthless Women post, I feel that some more strong words need to be said today. I’ll try to keep today’s post “less long”. I hope that by the end, the message comes together and these words will get both the men and women who read it to step back and at least think about a few things.
Because, we have a problem.
Men are lousy husbands.
Men are scatter-brained. Men are stupid. Men aren’t capable of making good choices.
Men aren’t good enough in their religions. Men aren’t good enough in their spirituality. Men aren’t strong enough in their faith.
Men are terrible cooks. Men don’t help enough around the house.
Men are careless.
Men work too much. They also don’t work enough.
Men don’t bring in large enough incomes. Men don’t properly support their families. Men don’t give their everything for their family’s well-being.
Men aren’t ambitious enough.
Men only care about sex. They have way too big or way too small of sex drives. They’re overly concerned with how big their penises are. They have too little tenderness and concern for their sexual counterparts.
Men don’t appreciate their women enough. Men don’t love their women enough. Men don’t find their women to be beautiful enough.
Men are insensitive. Men don’t cry enough. Men act too macho.
Men are also too sissy. They are too girly. They aren’t manly enough.
Men are lousy fathers.
Men don’t play with their children enough. They don’t spend enough time with their children. The time they do spend is not good enough.
At the same time, men also give too much attention to their children and not nearly enough to their lovers.
Men don’t have feelings. Men are mean. Men are nasty.
Men are bad neighbors. Men are bad in-laws.
Men aren’t smart enough to make big decisions. Men aren’t caring enough to understand.
Men are, simply put, worthless.
At least, that is what women constantly tell men. Everything on this list is something that I, or one of my male friends or family members, have heard from some woman somewhere.
Today I am typing in frustration, for that I apologize. You see, I’ve come to understand (and was just reminded over the course of a phone call) that women often have no problem declaring everything they want their men to be, and then making absolute certain that it never happens.
Ladies, go through the list above and be honest, just as you were on the Worthless Women post. How many of these things have you thought about men or said to a man that you love? Men, you be honest too. How many of these things do you believe to be true about yourselves? How many of these things have you been personally told? How many of these things have you seen weigh heavily on other men?
I’d be willing to bet it’s close to one hundred percent. It is a serious problem, for which the cause is complex. And with the media constantly dumbing down or ripping men to shreds, how could it possibly not be a problem? Flip through the television for an hour, you’ll hear at least half of those things declared about men by the entertainment industry and the media.
Why? Because it’s okay. For some damned reason it’s okay. And often, it’s okay because somebody has declared that it’s funny.
A wife can bash on her husband all she wants. She can make fun of him, ridicule him, belittle him, and make him feel like a giant turd. But, the moment the man does it back, he’s a douche bag… and all of her friends, sisters, and even her mother are going to hear about it.
A woman can hit a man. She can physically assault him. She can push him. She can slap him. If he doesn’t take it “like a man”, he’s called a… woman. A girl. A sissy. How ironic. Yet, the moment a man so much as lays a finger on a female, he’s labeled as abusive.
Many women will read this and think, I don’t do that. If that’s true, good for you. Perhaps, though, you should watch yourself for the next few days and see just how often you actually do participate, even if in minor ways.
Watch how often you make a sarcastic or snide comment about something the man in your life just did.
Watch how often you “playfully” slap him when he says something “stupid”.
Watch how often you tell him something (anything) he did wasn’t good enough.
Watch how often you roll your eyes at him because he didn’t do something exactly the way you would have done it.
Watch how often he shuts off, groans, or says something snide back to you.
You see, men react to all of these things much differently than women do. We hide behind tough-guy acts. We move on as if whatever was just said had no effect on us. We pretend that we’re above caring. We often laugh it off.
But we do internalize it. And we hate it.
I promise you, it’s not just me. Every man hates it…

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