The Family Bed

A reader writes:  I would like to know your thoughts on the
"family bed"  pros, cons, issues, cut off time etc.




I will admit that I have not done research on this but am more than

willing to share my thoughts.

My personal definition of the "family bed" is: a safe, warm place where you can go to snuggle, be read to, watch a show with mom and dad and/or talk.   It is a Saturday morning type of place.  

Even though I breast fed all my children and there were admittedly times that I fell asleep with the baby between us in bed, I do not believe that it should be the norm.  Not only are babies unable to free themselves from tight and confined places, I know I never slept well as I was so aware of the little ones protection.  It is also important to realize not everyone might be this conscious in their sleep.  
When the toddler is able to crawl out of the crib it is probably time to set up a “big boy/girl bed”  These beds need to be introduced with excitement and lots of conversation.   “Johnny, tonite you are going to sleep in your new bed.  I got you this new teddy to keep you company while you sleep and also see the night light? That  will come on when it gets dark.  We will see you in the morning and I will come in and kiss you on my way to bed.”
I believe that babies should have their cribs and children their beds.   You should make your child’s bed a warm and  comfortable place.   A top and bottom sheet should be on the bed along with  a blanket or two depending on the weather. (If your child is a bed wetter be sure that he/she is sleeping on a rubber backed sheet so that you are not having to strip a bed in the middle of the night.)
A good pillow with a clean pillowcase should top it off.  The pillowcase should be changed at least weekly and the sheets every two weeks if the child bathes on a regular basis.
I realize I have drifted off the main subject but I guess in my mind  sleeping with my children on a regular basis was simply not an option.  If it has become the norm in your home and you don’t like it anymore you are simply going to have to set a new rule, draw a new boundary and make yourself clear to your child.   “Katie, I know that you have been sleeping with me for quite a while now but we have decided it is time for you to be back in your own bed now.”  Mean what you say and say what you mean. 
Even today my bed is important to me.   It makes the difference in how I rest.

Again, I welcome questions and am more than willing to hold a personal dialog with you concerning this or any other question.

Sleep well friend!